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Stephanie DeGateo's big city lawyering kept her being able to handle this week's The Amazing Race recap, so we are here fill the void. We're not particular fans of the show - with the Rob and Amber season being the only one that really entertained us to any degree - so you'll forgive us if we're less than kind to the contestants of this season. Even by the Amazing Race's standards, they're pretty awful.

What do we specifically think of the four remaining teams? Rob & Kimberly are a bickering couple who we've grown to like more in recent weeks as they have toned down the fighting and come more together as a team. At this point, we're writing off their earlier performance as the mental equivalent of opening night jitters.

Dustin & Kandice are obnoxious, vile, annoying girls who personify everything that is wrong with beauty show culture. And let's just say that some of their comments skew to the John Rocker side of loving only certain types of fellow man. They've had several ugly (and dumb) American moments, and get annoyed when others "play the game" even though they do the same. Also, Dustin is a boy's name.

The Lyns, aka Lyn & Karlyn, are not the Southern team we would have liked to see advance this far despite the fact that they are from the same town where Kim was born. However, since David & Mary got hooked up with a new car and home thanks to the ladies of The View (also, they are apparently going to be appearing on All-Stars), we're not too worried about them. In fact, they're probably going to leverage their appearance on the show for a lot more than anything that the eventual winner will come away with. Back to Lyn & Karlyn, they're not particularly pleasant personalities and their constant arguments with Dustin & Kandice make us believe that the only winner is society. This weak team managed to ride an alliance with two other now-eliminated teams to the final four. They're hoping to be the first all-female team in the last leg. Never has a team been easier to root against.

Finally, Tyler & James - Team Zoolander - are really the most innocuous of the group. The models and former drug addicts let us know about their past adversity all the time, which grates on the nerves, but they're mostly harmless. Frankly, they're the best and most deserving team of the bunch, too, as they have won a number of legs and have constantly kept their focus on the prize. They're not exciting, but they do at least merit the honor of being the team we will actually root for. Also, the boys have mastered the Blue Steel look and their Center for Children Who Can't Read Good and Want to Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too is partway to reality if they can come away with the million bucks.

We start tonight's leg with Dustin & Kandice looking at being knocked out as they finished last previously but were not eliminated. This year's punishment for teams in non-elimination rounds is a 30 minute penalty for failing to come in first on the next leg. Since Dustin & Kandice are 20 minutes behind the third place team, Rob & Kimberly, they effectively have to make up an hour in tonight's leg to save themselves from seeing their race come to a close. Fortunately for them, there will probably be bunching. Speaking of which, do you know what we really, really hate about the Amazing Race? Bunching. This reality show is truly the only one that rewards bumbling fools and punishes the strong players. You don't see the NFL spotting the Oakland Raiders 45 points in a game.

Our racers are off the Casablanca, which we know quite well as that den of thieves, gamblers and other unsavory characters such as Ugarte, Captain Louis Renault and Rick Blaine. The contestants should feel right at home!

Right at the start, Team Pretty Boy announces a shocking preference for the Bama denizens over the blondes. They rightly recognize that the beauty queens are the toughest competition in the game and that if they can eliminate them, it's an easier road to the grand prize. And since the girls are vile and unpleasant to watch, we win with this strategy as well. Go Zoolanders!

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