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Dear readers, this will be the saddest Survivor update we ever do.

On the last episode, despite overplaying her hand at every turn, Angelina somehow survived Tribal Council. Even so, the damage has largely been done. Angelina has been revealed as someone who’s playing the game too hard and looking for jury votes. Impressively, the Goliaths stuck together in voting out Elizabeth rather than one of their own, but it wasn’t all that hard since a lot of Davids thoroughly disliked her anyway.

Tonight, there’s gonna be a reckoning between Angelina and her Goliath friends. Still, don’t be surprised to see her make it a good ways further. She’s not likely to win a final vote at this point, so a lot of people will want to carry her along.

It’s night 20, and Angelina is definitely surprised that Elizabeth outed her at Tribal Council as the double-dealing player she is. “Now I understand why everyone wanted her out,” she tells her fellow Goliaths. Angelina tries to do a little damage control, but NO ONE is buying it. Dan claims he’s more annoyed that she’s trying to cover it up rather than own up to what she did.

Mike and Christian talk through their alliance of six (Mike, Christian, Gabby, Nick, Alison, and Alec), and Mike assures Christian that it’s still solidly in place. Angelina has blown up her place in the game, which seems to make her an obvious target in the coming vote.

Even though Mike claims to be “sincere” about the alliance, he wonders whether Gabby is really with the group. You can actually see Mike’s anxiety over the situation. Christian tells him that yes, Gabby does get emotional sometimes (she hasn’t cried yet in this episode, but we assume it’s coming), but that he and Nick and Gabby are fully committed to working with the group as planned. Christian also thinks it’s a weird thing for Mike to say. He’s not wrong.

Angelina might be in some trouble, but Davie and Nick still understand math. The Davids are down in numbers, so they decide it’s a good time to start searching for an idol. They find a clue almost immediately, and we assume one of the producers threw it on the ground right in front of them and pointed and said, “Look! Right there!”

The clue is a picture that looks like an ‘80s t-shirt design. It has a palm tree next to a cliff. The two of them really just have to find the right tree. Carl joins them in the search. Before long, they’ve found the tree (presumably a producer said, “Psst. Look over there). Of course, it’s right next to a spot where a bunch of Goliaths are gathering.

To his credit, Davie does something clever. He climbs on a rock and starts swinging a stick around, Karate Kid style. The Goliaths are indeed transfixed and entertained, which gives Nick and Carl the opportunity to go over to search the area near the tree.

It’s not an idol. Instead, it’s a vote stealer. If you remember this tactical advantage from past seasons, it gives them the opportunity to “take” someone else’s vote and then vote twice. At this point, Carl also takes the opportunity to reveal he has an Idol nullifier as well, so the Davids are really in a pretty sweet position. Also, Davie found an idol early on, so there is a LOT happening here.

Davie, Carl, and Nick agree to keep the advantages to themselves and not share with anyone else. While I think Carl and Davie will stick to this pact, I wonder whether Nick will share it with Christian. Let’s see how tight the Mason-Dixon bond really is.

Reward Challenge time! It’s an interesting one. The tribe is split into two teams, and they all have to strategize about how to hold a number of weighted sandbags. The bags are connected to a trough full of water. Since they have to hold their arms up for a good period of time, this will be a toughie for some people, which is where the strategy comes in. Everyone has to hold at least one bag, but there are some people holding two. They can pass the extra along if it becomes too hard. Also, as time passes, one member from each tribe is removed.

The prize for the winning team will be 12 pizzas! Yum!

With the swap of players after the first person to leave, the perceived strongest player, John, is only holding one bag. His teammates want to preserve him. Next up, Carl and Christian drop out, and Carl’s back is shedded.

Ultimately, the game is lost on overconfidence. Policeman Dan holds his bags in just one hand and even taunts the other side. Gabby tells him, “We’re playing smart,” right before he drops his bag and dumps water on his team. Once again we stress that you should NEVER gloat on Survivor.

So it is that Nick, John, Gabby, Alec, Alison, and Christian chow down right in the middle of camp. At this point, Mike notes that he’s not there to win rewards. He wants to be the Sole Survivor. He also recognizes that if he sticks with his alliance of six, the Davids in the group might screw him over. He might be the top Goliath in the group, or he might not.

With that in mind, Mike goes to Alec and says that he’s not sure that now is the right time to eliminate Angelina. Instead, they should really be going after the most dangerous player still in the game – Christian. He’s intuitively worried that Carl and Davie might be able to get Christian to go a different direction. Alec isn’t sure if this is the best approach, but he agrees with Mike for now.

In fact, now Mike is getting every one of the Goliaths onboard for a Christian vote. Angelina is annoyed because it “was her idea” and they only decided it was a good one when a man suggested it. No, Angelina. None of your ideas are good at this point. You’re toxic to your alliance. They have no reason to listen to anything you say other than, “I’m sorry.” But go ahead and be righteously indignant.

Of course, the question becomes, “Who are we going to tell Christian to vote for?” The only answer is Angelina. No one will believe anything else. Naturally, she’s disturbed and displeased by this turn of events, but she’s got to go along with it. She screwed up. She has no choice.

“If something crazy happens, it could be the demise of my game,” she says.

PROBST! SIGHTING!

Yes, it’s time for tonight’s Immunity Challenge. The players must use two sticks to hold onto a buoy while they stand on a thin wooden perch. Probst reminds us that several seasons ago, Brad Culpepper lasted 23 minutes to win this challenge. Twenty-three minutes! Anything less and you guys are losers!

The group has barely hit 23 seconds when Kara drops her buoy. Christian, Alison, Davie, John, Gabby, and Carl follow her. It does go fast.

Then come Alec and Mike. Nick hangs on for maybe another minute, but eventually, the challenge goes to Angelina and Dan. Angelina could really make things problematic by winning, but though Dan wobbles, she eventually loses concentration, probably because Probst is blathering on. Dan. Wins. Immunity! He’s no Brad Culpepper, though.

The Goliaths move forward with their “tell the Davids we’re voting out Angelina” plan. As John says, even though Christian is an honorary brochacho, he’s just too smart and too dangerous to retain in the game. It’s going to be a #brochachoblindside, he tells us.

Angelina tries snuggling up to Dan in order to stay in his good graces and pushes to have someone else’s name written down. Dan assures her that even if Christian pulls out an idol, he’ll use one of his own to protect her.

Alec isn’t a huge fan of the Christian vote (he’d actually prefer to get rid of Angelina). So, he goes over to Nick to chat with him about the possible permutations of the impending Tribal Council. Nick isn’t thrilled to hear that Christian might be a target, and passes this information along with his Mason-Dixon partner.

The Davids talk about this problem amongst themselves, with Davie worrying that perhaps the Goliaths are single-mindedly focused on picking off the Davids one by one. He’s trying to figure out If the steal-a-vote can make the difference, but seems to realize that only the Immunity Idol has any real power here.

Nick is thinking that he could use the steal-a-vote to force a tie, because none of the Goliaths are going to want to save Angelina. He worries about making the wrong call and wasting something important, especially since his name hasn’t been mentioned (to his credit, Davie says something similar).

At Tribal Council, Probst swoops in at Angelica, asking her if she had to scramble after the revelations of the last group meeting. She lies again, saying she had to clarify things with her tribe mates. Look, Angelina. You have no shot at keeping the jury at this point. Might as well tell them it was a temporary error in judgment.

The Davids do say she’s a possible crack, maybe, but if the Goliaths do have a solid alliance, cracks don’t really matter, after all. Mike claims that Davids will absolutely have a say in tonight’s vote, and that numbers are closer than anyone realizes, but Carl says no way. He thinks the Goliaths have the numbers and there’s no reason to say anything else.

“If you give trust to the wrong person, you’re boned,” says John. Nick counters by saying that you don’t gain trust by bossing people around and telling them whom to vote for (likely talking about the Mike withdrawal from the alliance of six).

Christian reminds us, “You never want to be too much of a threat in this game.” He realizes that he hasn’t managed this portion of the game well, either.

After all the votes are cast and Probst asks if anyone will be playing a hidden idol. Davie approaches and says that while he’s nervous for himself, he’s REALLY nervous for Christian. Christian will be immune. After that play, Angelina BEGS Dan for his idol. He does give it up. No votes for Angelica or Christian will counts.

And in fact, all of the votes except for two are either for Angelica or Christian. The other two… are for John. DAMN IT! Our favorite player – and seemingly everyone else’s, too – is eliminated. BOOOOOOOOOOO!