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Oh, I’m sorry, did you think I was going to pick Atomic Blonde this week? Last week, I tried to do the right thing. I ignored my instincts and chose to highlight Dunkirk as my pick of the week. I intended to do Valerian. The director also did Fifth Element, which is one of my favorite movies. Space epics are one of my favorite genres, and the TV commercials promised it would thrill 3D fans like me. Even though I haaaaaate war movies, I chose Dunkirk because Christopher Nolan is the best writer/director combo working today and it was destined to be the biggest movie of the weekend. I probably should have waited until I saw the movie first.

Well, I wouldn’t be the man you all love to read if I didn’t YET AGAIN find myself disappointed with the box office. Dunkirk was garbage. The sad thing is we can’t even blame my hatred of war movies. I recommended you watch Inglourious Basterds, which I loved, because one of my other favorite directors (Quentin Tarantino) made a boring genre funny and accessible. Then, only two days after I wrote the Dunkirk article, I saw Hacksaw Ridge on HBO and I bawled my eyes out. I can’t believe those soldiers were so mean to Andrew Garfield but he saved them all anyway and made it back home to Teresa Palmer, who is Queen of George’s Lady Crush Land. What I learned is that war movies are a lot like rap music; on their own they are complete nonsense but when mashed up with another genre it can be amazing and epic.

Basterds was war and humor. Hacksaw was war and romance. Dunkirk was war and Nolan. I previously thought Nolan was his own genre but he is strictly a master writer/director. Dunkirk was purely a war film and I’m sure lovers of the genre will enjoy it. I think it should and will win plenty of technical Oscars but I would much rather see Nolan win Best Director for a piece of his signature art form like Inception than a boring piece of propaganda like Dunkirk. Last week I went with the smart choice and it backfired. Even though I also like spy/action movies, anyone who knows me knows I looooove animated movies and 3D. This could also be a good way to prep for the new movie. If I can somehow make an article about emojis interesting, then maybe Hollywood can make a good Emoji Movie.

1) The Social Network (2010)

Just because I love animated films like Emoji Movie doesn’t mean my recommendations have to be cartoons. Remember when you first heard about The Social Network? “Nobody is going to want to watch a Facebook movie,” we all said. Then we learned David Fincher was going to direct it with his unique visual flair and Aaron Sorkin was going to write it. Sorkin can make an encyclopedia entertaining, and a large portion of the Social Network’s success belongs to him. As much as I hate war movies, I also hate watching the news (CNN news, not E! News). Sorkin’s The Newsroom on HBO had one of the best first seasons of television in recent memory, and he even made the stupid sports genre rather fascinating when he wrote Moneyball. Not even Justin Timberlake’s annoying appearance in Social Network was able to deter it from Oscar glory (eight nominations, three wins, including Sorkin). The Emoji Movie isn’t expected to win any awards but this recommendation reminds us to give movies about internet fads a chance.

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