Elf Off the Shelf, 2016: Days 9-16

By Daron Aldridge

December 23, 2016

The Elf on the Shelf phenomenon continues to steamroll the Christmas consciousness. If you have somehow escaped this trend, here's how it works: Your family buys the Elf on the Shelf and all through December, he moves around the house after the kids go to bed. He serves always as the eyes and ears of Santa, and then flies home to the North Pole every night to report. He's a Christmas surveillance drone, if you will.

For the fifth year, the Elf is not content with merely hanging out on some shelf or mantle. He's once again taken a liking to not just invading your homes but well-known movie posters. Now, he returns as an Elf Off the Shelf.
Fantastic indeed!

Day 9: For the ninth cinematic adventure in the Potter-verse, the Elf takes to tracking down some fantastic beasts. Newt Scamander...now there's a good elf name.
The only way to win is not to play.

Day 10: Hopefully, when "Joshua" asks "Shall we play a game?" the Elf simply suggests some nice reindeer game that the others wouldn't play with Rudolph and not Global Thermonuclear War.

Is the elf the drummer?

Day 11: So far, these days of Elf Off the Shelf go to 11. It only makes sense that the Elf would pop up in This is Spinal Tap, as the diminutively named (and elfin-appropriate) Derek Smalls.
How awful would it be to see that face emerge from the darkness?

Day 12: To all the people out there who immediately think "The horror, the horror" when the Elf comes to mind, here he is embodying the utterer of that famous line: Apocalypse Now's Colonel Kurtz.
I always knew there was something off about Christian Slater.

Day 13: Stealing. Cheating. Killing. All things that will land you on the Naughty List. The Elf, as Clarence, is a true cautionary tale on this 13th day of December.
Something about pillows and lack thereof.

Day 14: It doesn't matter the mode of transportation; the Elf has to get back and forth to the North Pole reliably every night. Hopefully, his travels with Mr. Candy fare better than Steve Martin's did with the same traveling companion.
No. Just. No.

Day 15: It looks like the Elf is trying to deliver the one thing at the top of the Rebellion's wish list: Plans to the Death Star!
Elfony Michael Hall.

Day 16: Judging by the look the Elf is giving her, it doesn't appear that he forgot about Samantha's Sweet Sixteen birthday. Maybe he just needs to return to his scout elf duties before he gets himself into trouble.



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