This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison for the new releases for July 1-5, 2015

By Curt David

July 3, 2015

Uh oh. Khaleesi's got a gun.

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie, by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For the weekend of July 3rd, the new movies in wide release are Magic Mike XXL and Terminator: Genisys.






Magic Mike XXLTerminator: GenisysWINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleThe sequel to Magic Mike.A sequel to the Terminator film.Both recognizable titles. 1/2 point each.
Best Genre
and Rating
Stripper Dramedy
Rated R for strong sexual content, pervasive language, some nudity and drug use
Sci-Fi Action
Rated PG - 13 for intense sequences of sci - fi violence and gunplay throughout, partial nudity and brief strong language
Two different genres and ratings. 1/2 point each.
Best Plot
(in haiku form)
May not have a plot
People who watch it won’t care
Cause there’s male strippers
Robots and Time travel
Terminator references
Explosions. Arnold.
I think the Terminator film may have slightly more of a plot, maybe, then Magic Mike XXL. Point.
Best TrailerPROS: You might like how there is a ton of male strippage going on
CONS: Or you may not like it
PROS: Arnold Schwarzenegger is back in another Terminator film!!!!
CONS: Wait, I haven’t seen any Terminator films and I don’t super care.
Both trailers left me feeling confused. 1/2 point each.
Coolest Lead ActorChanning Tatum from 21 Jump Street and Step Up.Arnold Schwarzenegger from The Terminator and Total Recall.Both famous actors. 1/2 point each.
Best CastElizabeth Banks (The Hunger Games), Matt Bomer (White Collar), Joe Manganiello (Magic Mike), Jada Pinkett Smith (Collateral), Andie MacDowell (Groundhog Day), Michael Strahan (Live with Kelly and Michael)Jason Clarke (Zero Dark Thirty), J.K. Simmons (Whiplash), Jai Courtney (Insurgent), and Emilia Clarke (Game of Thrones)Both have great casts. 1/2 point each.
Best Street Cred
For the Production
Director Gregory Jacobs was the assistant director for Magic Mike, Ocean’s 12, Erin Brockovich, and a ton of other movies!Director Alan Taylor also helmed Thor: The Lost World and numerous episodes of Game of Thrones, The Sopranos, Rome and Deadwood.And a 1/2 point here as well.




So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Terminator: Genisys scores 4 points (and a gold star) and Magic Mike XXL scores 3 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like seeing men in thongs, feel free to watch Magic Mike XXL. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Terminator: Genisys is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. Terminator’s “The rules have been reset” beats Magic Mike’s “Back to the grind,” but really I could swing either way with this one.
Conclusion 3: Or you could rewatch Jurassic World or Inside Out again. What? You haven’t seen Inside Out yet? Go! Go! Go!




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