New at BOP: Review: Matrix Resurrections Movie Review: Moonfall Movie Reviews: Scream The #1 Movie in America November Forecast The Many Saints of Newark October Forecast New Trivia Question All site updates Share & Save   Tweet Print this column

When Michael’s interest in Star brings brings him into David’s orbit, rather than fighting over her (which really is the only reason she’s there) the gang initiates Michael into their ranks - probably because he kind of looks like Jim Morrison. This leads to some rather strange side effects for Michael, and makes Sam’s new acquaintance with the Frog brothers seem like the best coincidence ever. I don’t think I’m spoiling anything when I say that David and his boys are (gasp!) vampires, but there’s more to them - and to Star - than meets the eye. As Michael and Sam struggle grapple with how to get out of this mess, it starts to look like David may not be the most dangerous person in Santa Carla after all.

The only problem with all this is that for a vampire movie, there’s really little to no actual vampire activity until well past the midpoint of the film. And even then, it seems less the focus of the story than it just feels like an incidental byproduct couple of idiots fighting over a girl. In fact, Michael and Star’s obvious mutual attraction feels more perfunctory than anything else. The Lost Boys doesn’t have a “plot” so much as it has an improbable string of contrivances designed to put specific people in specific places at specific times. This isn’t the worst thing in the world, and it’s mitigated somewhat by Schumacher’s glossy, theatrical brand of storytelling. But what you hear me saying is that The Lost Boys has a lot of style, but those old vampire bones are largely lacking meat.

There are some funny moments, but this isn’t really a comedy. The story has a self-serious tone about it; the forced love triangle between David, Michael and Star is too absurd to be affecting in any way. I might even argue that this is less a vampire movie than it is a story about a mother and her two boys trying to find their identity as a family after a traumatic divorce, but the story doesn’t really commit to that either. The only thing The Lost Boys ever really sets its mind to is bringing the vampire mythos into the music video age. It’s sexy, polished, and filled with brooding, attractive, young people. It’s got a pretty cool soundtrack. It is literally infused with Schumacher’s visually ambitious flair.

The Lost Boys is a feast (har) for the eyes, and I suspect that’s the majority of its appeal is in that. The Doors and Jim Morrison were enjoying a resurgence in popularity around the time The Lost Boys came out, and their music - and Morrison’s image - are prominently featured and Patric’s passing resemblance to the music icon is not coincidental. Sutherland is absolutely perfect - he’s a charismatic, unassuming jerk who makes you want to separate his shoulder, and then maybe buy him a beer. Sutherland plays him so effortlessly, you wonder if he’s really acting at all. Despite the fact that nothing about the story makes any damn sense, everything you see on screen at least looks just right.

So, if you put a gun to my head and made me answer yes or no - do I like this movie - I’d have to say yes. It’s vapid, confusing and quite frankly, not very well written. But it captures something about the age in which it was made, and it does this in the way only a truly enduring film can. And while the vibe is largely superficial, I suspect that was kind of the point. Just like MTV, just like spiky hair and mullets, and just like noisy synth-rock - it’s not about what it is, it’s about the way it makes you feel. Maybe you can’t take it seriously, but you can’t completely hate it either. Like a stick of gum, it does its job, loses its flavor, and then it goes away - exactly the way it should.

Continued:       1       2