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Previously on The Amazing Race, the first episode in several weeks felt like it lasted several weeks. Also, we had to look up the team that got eliminated, which says a lot about how much we enjoyed watching them. We’re sure the season will be a lot worse without whatstheirnames.

Oh, right. It was Bergen & Kurt. Even though they won’t gain a million dollars (or a soulmate), at least they don’t have to suffer another moment together. If only Blair were so lucky. You know he’s thinking it.

Speak of the devil! The episode starts with a reminder that Hayley’s crazy outweighs the hot. We find ourselves wondering how many doctors have let patients die rather than spend another second in Hayley’s company. Blair’s extended first date fiasco extends the idea that coffee is the ideal first date. The instant she got like this, he could have paid the check and been out of there in 20 minutes. Instead he’s stuck in Germany with a complete stranger who will NOT SHUT UP.

We cut to a happy team briefly to learn that Steve & Aly will be first to depart at 9 a.m. as they make their way to Monaco. Once there, they apparently will have to be fitted with proper attire (formal, for some reason) for a helicopter flight. They manage to get a flight that will have them arrive an hour and 15 minutes ahead of the other teams.

All of the other teams are bunched closely together other than Mike & Rochelle, who are a full three hours behind the other teams. They’re far enough behind that they’ll be on a flight all by themselves…

But wait.

They notice that the Olympians are getting on a plane, and take a shot that perhaps they can get seats that put them ahead of the clumped teams.

“You never know with this race. You can start last and end up first. You can be first and end up last, so we’re just staying positive. Anything can happen.”

And in fact, anything does happen. They get on the same flight as the Olympians. Seriously, Mike & Rochelle are the team that just won’t die.

We also learn that Matt & Ashley accidentally booked the wrong flight, so instead of being clumped with the remaining group, they’ll be another hour and a half or so behind. They’re pretty glum about it, and are also probably wondering where Mike & Rochelle are.

Apparently we’re not going directly to Monaco, but rather to Nice, France, where the teams will then get into their proper former attire for the trip over to Monaco. As Steve & Aly and Mike & Rochelle are getting fitted for their clothing, the other teams (excluding Matt & Ashley arrive). Needless to say, they’re shocked to see that Mike & Rochelle arrived first.

Notably, Blair thinks Hayley looks hot in her dress. We’re sure that will remain true right up until the moment that she starts sniping at him again. Jeff & Jackie talk about how they get along the best of the blind date couples. The other blind daters roll their eyes at this comment.

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