This Weekend, Watch This

A comparison for the new releases for March 27-29, 2015

By Curt David

March 27, 2015

He's taking time out of his busy schedule of doing marketing during the NCAA tournament.

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New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For the weekend of March 27th, the new movies in wide release are Get Hard and Home.






Get HardHomeWINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleSeems like an interesting title.Seems like a non-interesting title.1/2 point each.
Best Genre
and Rating
Comedy
Rated R for pervasive crude and sexual content and language, some graphic nudity, and drug material
Animation
Rated PG for mild action and some rude humor
Different ratings. Good. 1/2 point each.
Best Plot
(in haiku form)
Ferrell goes to jail
Gets Hart to help him survive
Hysterical time
Alien to Earth.
Friends girl. Crazy adventures
Have to save the world.
1/2 point each.
Best TrailerPROS: The first time I laughed at a “comedy” trailer in a long time! Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart.
CONS: What do you mean cons? I wrote “Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart.”
PROS: The first time I smiled at a “mild action, rude humor” animation film for kids in a long time! It seemed sweet and funny.
CONS: None either.
Other weeks Home would win, but this week the point is going to Get Hard.
Coolest Lead ActorWill Ferrell from Anchorman and SNL.The voice of Jim Parsons from The Big Bang Theory.Oooh, tough one. Will is going to sneak out this point.
Best CastKevin Hart (Ride Along)The voices of Rihanna, Steve Martin, and Jennifer Lopez.Another tough one. Um, half point each.
Best Street Cred
For the Production
Writer/Director Etan Cohen (not Ethan) also wrote Tropic Thunder, Madagascar 2, and Men in Black 3.Director Tom Johnson also directed Antz, Sinbad, and Over the Hedge. Another half point each.




So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Get Hard scores 4 and 1/2 points (and a gold star) and Home scores 2 and 1/2 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you are under the age of 13, feel free to watch Home. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Get Hard is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. Close one this week. Home’s “Worlds collide” will not quite take the gold star from Get Hard’s “An education in incarceration.”
Conclusion 3: Not going to the theater this weekend? At least watch Get Hard’s trailer.




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