Elf Off the Shelf: Days 7-13

By Daron Aldridge

December 15, 2014

For the last few years the Elf on the Shelf phenomenon has captured the attention of kids everywhere. Here's how it works (for the uninitiated): Your family buys the Elf on the Shelf and all through December, he moves around the house after the kids go to bed. He serves always as the eyes and ears of Santa, and then flies home to the North Pole every night to report. He's a Christmas surveillance drone, if you will.

Well, it appears that in his downtime, the elf has left the confines of homes across the world and ended up in well-known movie posters. Simply, he is now an Elf Off the Shelf.
Eh, he's plastic. He'll probably be okay.

Day 7: The Elf weathers rough waters to deliver reports to Santa. Hopefully, the movie's title will not be proven true for our diminutive fellow.

Day 8: The Elf has a clear case of the Mondays.

Who's the creepy stalker in the hat?

Day 9: In this alternate universe, the Elf seems to be doing well for himself. But Tea Leoni is way out of your league.
No Hanksgiving for Daron.

Day 10: The Elf as Jimmy Dugan offers up, "Avoid the naughty list. Hey, that's good advice."
Cue the Huey Lewis and the Elves.

Day 11: Hello, McElf! That explains it...Santa must use a flux capacitor on his sleigh to get all those deliveries done in one night.
Less disturbing than Jim Carrey, really.

Day 12: For this new incarnation of The Cable Guy, the tagline simply needs to change to: "There's no such thing as free cable...at the North Pole."
I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking.

Day 13: The Elf would actually probably fit perfectly in the 'Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too' model that Mr. Zoolander mistook for the actual school.



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