Top Chef Recap

By David Mumpower

February 5, 2014

We were sad to see you both go.

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The judges are all over the place with their criticisms. Sam Choy indicates that he likes Shirley’s dish. It doesn’t seem to excite him, though. Louis prepares Spam mousse that is “very silky” in Padma’s mouth. I just got tingly.

Nick goes an entirely different way by preparing his own dish, a Spam broth. Tom says, “Wow, thanks.” That is a good sign. Then again, the judges also note that he has a “sodium issue” once again. Nick is preparing food that is too healthy for the judges, and he keeps getting punished for it.

Nina delivers a spam croquette, utilizing a local Polynesian ingredient, breadfruit. I am confident that she has won right up until Sam Choy announces that the winner is Nick. I am surprised by this. Judging by Tom’s reaction of “Whoa,” he may not have agreed. Nick wins $10,000 for his troubles, providing financial justification for his screwing Stephanie earlier in the season.

The four chefs are instructed about the rules of the Elimination challenge. They are also notified that we are moving to endgame much faster than normal this season. Tonight’s episode will be double elimination. Half of the current players will be gone by the end of the night. So this is the penultimate episode of the season. The challenge itself is a celebration of “canoe crops”, 24 plants and species that are key ingredients in Polynesian cuisine. The chefs have an hour of preparation today plus two hours tomorrow to complete their dishes.




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The preparations are comical in that part of them occurs outdoors. Have you ever been to Hawaii? If not, have you ever watched Buying Hawaii? Rainfall on the islands is exponentially more frequent than on the mainland. And yes, it does rain while the chefs are cooking. Sometimes I wonder whether the producers of Top Chef are poor planners (unlikely given how smoothly the show runs most of the time) or vicious anarchists (I cannot defend them on this point).

Other than the rain, the only major mistake involves Nina. For the third time this season, the otherwise remarkably prepared one messes up huge. She starts breaking down Nick’s fish instead of her own. With only an hour of preparation on day one, that is free time she shouldn’t have wasted on aiding a competitor with their meal.

Tom investigates the outdoor preparations. He discovers that Shirley views Nina as her primary competitor (duh). This announcement annoys the dudes. Shirley notes that she is just “keeping it real.” Shirley is so street. Louis gets past his irritation quickly because he has larger concerns. His primary protein is opah fish, and its cooking is treacherous. “If I overcook it, it’s going to fall apart and be dry. And if I undercook it, it’s going to be tough. So the rain and the wind with my grill, it could totally ruin me.” Top Chef’s editing team is rarely subtle. I have a really bad feeling about Louis now. It’s like they are providing him an excuse in advance.


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