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The actual combatants in round one are Shirley and Nina, both of whom are lavishly praised for their plates. The lone criticism of Shirley comes from Tom Colicchio (*gulp*), who likes the components but does not believe they pair well. I think the Spanish team wins this round, but it’s close.

Round two is Stephanie vs. Nina. Both dishes are exceptional. Emeril adores Nina’s bowl of food, indicating he could every bite. Meanwhile, Tom positively gushes about Stephanie’s flavor. Guest judge Rick Tramonto neutralizes some of the praise by noting that his mussels had some grit. I again believe Spanish is the language of victory in this round.

A handicap match occurs during round three. Carlos finally presents his dish against the tandem of Stephanie and Shirley. The results are predictable. Carlos’ limitations as a chef have been on display the entire season. He is amazing in one particular skill set. Any time he steps beyond his comfort zone, he struggles. Meanwhile, Stephanie and Shirley’s food is arguably the tastiest of the evening. It took until 2013 for this to happen but the French have finally won a battle!

Remember earlier when I mentioned how forceful Ms. Crenn was during the meal planning? The fourth course is where her ambitious plans undo the French troops. Nick was asked to create a “nest” of corn silk. He had only worked with such material once previously, and he clearly does not craft the dish he wants. The plan had been for the silk to “dissipate fast”. The plan goes awry.

Shirley and Stephanie are given samples. The looks on their faces tell a Tolstoy-sized story about the mistakes with the dish. As Stephanie starts to talk him out of the presentation, Nick curtly dismisses her, firmly stating “Let it go!” That is easy for the dude with immunity to say. Stephanie even states, “It’s my ass.”

As the fourth course is sampled by the judges, Brian and Carlos’ dish is praised by all of them save for Crenn. She finds the chicken dry and the dish boring. Padma becomes the tiebreaker in this argument, noting that her chicken is excellent. Crenn’s face may as well have a Mike Tyson-esque “How dare you!” tattoo on it at this statement. In reality, the battle is over after the fourth course. Nick has blown it for his team. Don’t worry, Nick! It’s Stephanie’s ass, not yours! I think this officially makes you her pimp.

I would be remiss to ignore this odd aspect of tonight’s judging, though. Crenn and Serrano both sample the fare of their team as well as the opposition. The results are…predictable. Serrano loves all the flavors that the Spanish team provides. It’s a bit masturbatory how much he enjoys his own meals. Crenn is no different. Even when a dish clearly fails, as occurs with the fourth course, she supports Team France while attacking Team Spain. For what it’s worth, nobody ever says (Team) Italy. Overall, this is another manner in which the Elimination challenge is ill-conceived.

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