Elf Off the Shelf 2013, Part III

By Daron Aldridge

December 25, 2013

Santa's terrifying minion.

He's back...

For the last few years the Elf on the Shelf phenomenon has captured the attention of kids everywhere. Here's how it works (for the uninitiated): Your family buys the Elf on the Shelf and all through December, he moves around the house after the kids go to bed. He serves always as the eyes and ears of Santa, and then flies home to the North Pole every night to report.

The Elf on the Shelf has some time on his hand between nightly trips to the North Pole. He took a detour into some of your favorite (or at least, familiar) movie posters. It's time again to try to catch up to the Elf Off the Shelf.
That's how they pull the wool over kids' eyes.

21) 21: The Truth Can Be Adjusted. Like squint your eyes enough and George Clooney in Michael Clayton now resembles an Elf.
Ladies Love Cool Elf.

22) Maybe this incarnation of Charles Foster Kane would've just asked Santa for a new sled and his life wouldn't have felt so empty on his deathbed.
He should just use magic and fix everything the way it needs to be.

23) The Elf's non-Christmas gig as a Looper finally catches up to him. Bet he wishes he still had that pointy hat to cover-up future Elf's shiny dome.

That little dude has a lot of secrets that need shredding.

24) The movie was fake. The elf's mission was real...go into homes, convince the kids that he was just a fun-loving scamp and then sneak out toys being held against their will in attics and closets.
I wonder if Santa is an Equal Opportunity Employer.

25) Ho...Ho...Hoo-Awww!! If you mess with a young Chris O'Donnell and the Elf was the elf he was five years ago, he'd take a FLAMETHROWER to this place.
He's got fewer tax problems than Nic Cage, we're sure.

26) I don't know about you but I feel more confident with the Declaration of Independence in the hands of the Elf than Nic Cage.
Hmmm...that is pretty elf-like hair, actually.

27) The Elf's true occupation is revealed. I guess toy-making is more of "seasonal work" and an elf's gotta earn a living using other means. Pet Detective is just as valid of a career path as elf.
That hat clashes with the coat.

28) As a Christmas present to BOP's David Mumpower, the Elf takes over The Rock's Stifler-wrangling duties in The Rundown, a criminally underrated, early movie gem from Mr. Dwayne Johnson.
Principal Rooney has a new nemesis.

29) As the holiday season comes to a close, the Elf really does deserve a day off, like Ferris. Just one more stop and you can relax.
That elf is setting a bad example.

30) "Hey... Back off, Big Man. That may work with the chicks but not with me." Last year, the Elf capped off his movie poster run in the Christmas classic "It's a Wonderful Life" and this time, he embodies a contemporary Christmas classic.



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