Elf Off the Shelf 2013, Part II

By Daron Aldridge

December 24, 2013

Santa's terrifying minion.

He's back...

For the last few years the Elf on the Shelf phenomenon has captured the attention of kids everywhere. Here's how it works (for the uninitiated): Your family buys the Elf on the Shelf and all through December, he moves around the house after the kids go to bed. He serves always as the eyes and ears of Santa, and then flies home to the North Pole every night to report.

The Elf on the Shelf has some time on his hand between nightly trips to the North Pole. He took a detour into some of your favorite (or at least, familiar) movie posters. It's time again to try to catch up to the Elf Off the Shelf.
He's still taller than Tom Cruise.

11) Mission: Impossible - Elf Protocol. No plan. No backup. No choice...but to save Christmas.
I imagine the almighty Oz fled in terror when the elf arrived.

12) We're off the shelf to see the wizard...the wonderful wizard of Oz. The Tin Elf only wants a heart. After Christmas, I think I will miss him most of all.
Too close! Too close!

13) "I dreamed a dream of Christmas gone by...

When elves didn't spy...

In the homes you are living..."

Don't be so surprised to learn an elf is a sort of monster.

14) The Elf decides to play a little Where's Waldo at Monsters University, where he fits in little too easily. "I am not a monster...I am an elf."
Cowboy hats are so 1869.

15) As the Lone Ranger, wearing a mask doesn't do much to hide your identity if you're still sporting a bright red pointy hat. Just a thought, Mr. Elf. Yet you are still taller than Depp's diminutive Tonto.
The elf is a bad boy.

16) Who is Keyser Soze? It may be the little fella on the far left. It's more than likely each of these Usual Suspects is on Santa's naughty list.
He uses elfin magic to dance on the walls.

17) The Elf makes an upgrade: Pointy hat for a fedora and Debbie Reynolds instead of hanging out with reindeer. Too bad he also had to trade the snow for rain.
What is wrong with her back?

18) The Elf looks a bit too scared of sweet Sandra Bullock. You'd think the prospect of being a "kept" elf and no longer being a toy-making minion would be pretty appealing.
Where is Santa's sleigh?!!!!!!!!!!

19) "Mr. Elf, today is the first day of what's left of your life." Flying by reindeer probably would've been more safe as the Mandarin declares war on Christmas.
He shops at the Small & Elfin suit store.

20) This month marked the anniversary of Uncle Walt's death, the Elf pays tribute by assuming his role in new Saving Mr. Banks. He even casts a familiar shadow.



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