Elf Off the Shelf 2013, Part I

By Daron Aldridge

December 11, 2013

Santa's terrifying minion.

He's back...

For the last few years the Elf on the Shelf phenomenon has captured the attention of kids everywhere. Here's how it works (for the uninitiated): Your family buys the Elf on the Shelf and all through December, he moves around the house after the kids go to bed. He serves always as the eyes and ears of Santa, and then flies home to the North Pole every night to report.

The Elf on the Shelf has some time on his hand between nightly trips to the North Pole. He took a detour into some of your favorite (or at least, familiar) movie posters. It's time again to try to catch up to the Elf Off the Shelf.
The Shark on the Shelf

1) Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the North Pole. The elf has returned to movie posters.
Still better than Carrie Underwood.

2) The elves are alive with the Sound of Music.
If he were actually dead, Andy Kaufman would be rolling over in his grave.

3) Sing it with me..."If you believe...they put an elf on the moon..."

He hates all non-elves.

4) Who knew that all those years ago, we thought that Mel was just really good at playing crazy Martin Riggs. The elf joins Murtaugh for some buddy cop hijinks.
Who knew elves could grow facial hair?

5) Gangs of the North Pole. Bill the Butcher gets a youthful, cherubic makeover.
Middle Earth will rise again!

6) If you ever felt that the Elf on the Shelf would spell our doom...you just might be right by the looks at the destruction he did in Star Trek: Into Darkness.
Cookies and milk were a bad idea.

7) Stay Classy, San Diego, as the Elf takes over Ron Burgundy's chair for his upcoming sequel.
Elf justice is terrifying. You don't want to know.

8) Fittingly, the elf takes over the duty of Juror Number 8 from Henry Fonda.
Destroying things is how he relaxes after making all those toys.

9) This Christmas...He's gonna wreck it!!! Time for Wreck-It Elf.
He's oddly feminine.

10) May the odds be elf-er in your favor. [INSERT FAMILIAR HUNGER GAMES THREE-NOTE WHISTLE]



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