Top Chef Recap

By David Mumpower

December 10, 2013

We are guessing that Padma and her are not Facebook friends.

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Amusingly, the less heralded compilation of chefs on the Purple Team gets along swimmingly. They giggle and laugh as all four members fall into clearly defined roles. There is no argument about the restaurant’s infrastructure. Supplies and meal ingredients are acquired easily and without incident. I don’t care who wins or loses this challenge. Because of their seafood menu, they quickly settle upon a sublime name as well. Team Purple shall henceforth be known as Fin. And if I were playing, I would want to be on Fin. In fact, if none of them wins Top Chef, I would suggest that the lot of them go into business together. Their camaraderie is unmistakable.

Cut to…

The Green Team is fighting again. Do you know what a ring mold is? I had nothing to do with my wedding registry so I do not. Apparently, ring molds or, as I know them, cake pans are important. Nina and Shirley are responsible for acquiring this item for Sara. They glumly inform her that there is no such item at the store where they are shopping. We are not even halfway into the episode and Sara’s glum behavior during her monologues already cause me to believe that she is the person eliminated tonight. “I have no idea whether they put any effort in finding what I really need. It’s not making me feel well.” The blame game is on during her interviews, which is strange because this team looks invincible on paper.

The first set of food prep continues the theme. Stephanie harmoniously informs Nick that she is about to start shucking her oysters. Don’t make it dirty. Travis re-checks the dinner menu then asks for a roll call of who is doing what at the moment. Their side is an exercise in precision right up until Brian realizes he may have set himself and possibly the entire team. He was supposed to purchase agar agar but unintentionally grabbed xanthan gum. He states that he will be “dreaming of purple corn” tonight, which makes me wonder if I should start huffing xanthan gum. It sounds trippy.

As far as Team Green is concerned, mind-altering gum as an ingredient sounds like a viable option. Remember last week when Nina invited Justin to suck something that she anatomically lacks (I think)? Well, they are partners now, but Nina simply does not seem to like the men of New Orleans. After feuding quite randomly with Michael, she has locked onto Justin as the new source of vented frustration. Most of her comments fall on the passive side of the passive/aggressive bar although a few acerbic comments slip out.




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Nina does inform us that the name of the restaurant is Found, which sounds like a future J. J. Abrams project to me. She watches as Sara laments the fact that the group grabbed too small a coffee maker to serve 125 guests. Sara is assuredly correct; Justin rightfully requests positivity from the woman who is oftentimes morose. Nina watches the interpersonal dynamic of the two people, sourly noting that the kitchen equivalent of Mom and Dad are fighting. That bickering bleeds into the cooking as a rule.

The Found-ers try to regain control of their emotions at the house that night. They hold a team meeting during which calmer heads try to prevail. What I note from the body language of the people involved is that all five players are miserable. In fact, I realize that Shirley basically hasn’t been on camera for the past 10 minutes. Carlos has also deduced that he should keep his head down, presuming that if everything goes wrong, Sara or Justin will be held accountable. After what transpired with Josie and Kristen last season, that is the correct deduction.

The good news for Team Found is that a new day means new opportunity. After a day of struggles, they are prepared to cook their food, which ought to be delicious. Front of the House leader Sara is dressed in her regular retro pin-up girl style, and the restaurant appears equally attractive. Alas, Sara is quickly derailed by the presence of frequent Top Chef guest Danny Meyer, arguably the most powerful restaurateur in North America. She gets psyched out instantly, and the evening digresses from there.


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