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Tribal Council. Probst’s hilarious first question to Matt is “what’s it like for you as a fan?” as though Matt has ever seen an episode. Matt’s just as hilarious response is to claim that he was a fan of Phillip and Cochran and Dawn and Corinne, and he couldn’t be happier. I wonder if he knew all their names before the switch?

Probst asks if the “fans” are in trouble, and Julia agrees they are in the minority, and Probst confirms with Mike whether one of the fans is going tonight. No doubt? “Not in my mind.”

Probst asks Corinne if any bonds have formed in the short amount of time they have spent together, most of which has been spent figuring who to vote off. Corinne highlights Mike because she likes “to play with a gay.” It doesn’t seem to matter what the gay is like as a person, just so long as he’s gay, which I’m sure Mike feels great about. Also, “there are three people I’d replace in my own alliance, so it’s hard.” Only three? That statement makes her even more trustworthy!

Probst asks Phillip about his vote, and Phillip says that the number one thing he’ll be looking for is “are you loyal, are you trustworthy, will you do challenges and do what you are asked to do.” That’s four things, Phillip. You promised one.

Probst asks Corinne how she assesses who to vote out, and Corinne admits that she is paranoid about the hidden immunity idol, because while the “favorites” have four votes, it only takes one idol to ruin that, and giving out any information is dangerous.

Probst thanks Corinne for her honesty and then asks Matt what he can do in this situation where there’s really nothing he can do. He says that they talked earlier, and he doesn’t have the idol, and he would have told Corinne if he knew who did. But Corinne points out that that’s exactly what an alliance down in the numbers who have one shot would say. It doesn’t matter that it’s actually true.

Phillip is also concerned about the idol, and confirms that’s what tonight’s vote is about. If someone has it, they have to play it.

Probst then asks Cochran about the other tribe because they don’t know what’s happening over there. Cochran confirms that Bikal can’t keep losing because it gives more time for Gota to bond as a new unit of seven. Cochran describes it as a “the bold and the beautiful” group and Cochran does not see himself “penetrating that group.” Phrasing, Cochran.

It’s time to vote, and we see Julia vote for Dawn, and Matt and Mike voting for Julia, so we know the “favorites” pressure tactics on the “fans” has worked. No one has a hidden immunity idol, which confirms that it’s not in play on their tribe.

And the votes are for Julia, Julia, Dawn, Matt... Julia, learning that she might not be going home, licks her lips. And the rest of the votes are Matt, Matt, Matt you need to bring me your torch. Probst does the snuffing ritual and informs Julia and Michael that they are in trouble and have to win immunity. “No kidding, Sherlock,” they do not say.

Next time on Survivor, Phillip talks about his upper body strength, but falls at the challenge. So it looks like Phillip’s challenge-hero edits are at an end and he’ll be 100% joke from now on rather than the 75%-25% we’ve seen so far this season. And it seems Malcolm is striking out by making a move with the bro alliance. “I can’t wait to see the look on some people’s faces when I take control of this game in just a few short days,” he says. Sorry Malcolm fans, but this means he is utterly doomed.

Matt’s final words are pretty boring. I played Survivor. I played it all out. I don’t regret anything. Etc. So long, Matt. I’m guessing we won’t see much of you at the reunion.

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