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The episode begins and I am immediately confused. We have replaced the Top Chef kitchen with something much more garish and ostentatious. Times Square in New York features less neon than this set. The entire visage requires a moment of visual adjustment. Our favorite reality television challenge has gone Hollywood.

Padma Lakshmi, dazzling in a red cocktail dress, is positively beaming over her surroundings. She cannot hide her smile as she proudly announces the finalists for the season. We cut to the champion of Last Chance Kitchen, Kristen. Shockingly, the Boston resident is already well into her food preparations. Moments later, Brooke Williamson is introduced as the live crowd (?!) loudly applauds both contestants.

I am shell-shocked by the first 30 seconds of the finale. First of all, both women are so busy with their preparations that their announcements aggravate them. Each one wants the introduction to end so that they can get back to work. In addition, several other chefs from the season are frantically preparing meals as well. The first one I spot is CJ, who is hard to miss since he towers above the other former contestants.

Padma announces that the finalists have “assembled their teams and are hard at work”. I feel like I have started reading a book at chapter four. I quickly deduce that Stefan and Kuniko join CJ on Brooke’s team while Lizzie, Sheldon and Josh assist Kristen with her preparations. How did in the Blue Hell that happen? Kristen’s support staff includes the three most recently eliminated players, meaning that they are the top trio who failed to reach the climactic event.

Meanwhile, Brooke’s team includes the second and fifth worst performers of the year plus Stefan, who was rendered a non-factor this season. Yes, Kuniko and CJ performed quite well at Last Chance Kitchen. I still would not pick them over participants that the judges clearly favored. If nothing else, the combination of Sheldon and Josh were indescribably potent together during the season. How were they not separated? I reserve the right to change my opinion later but at first blush Brooke has lost the team-building exercise to Kristen.

The format is quickly revealed. 160 diners will be served five courses worth of food. The onlookers will not have a voice in the outcome, though. This is an interesting decision because one table in particular features a special compilation of players. All nine previous champions of Top Chef will sample the fare of the two contestants. In other words, there is additional undue pressure placed upon the finalists.

The only judges whose opinions matter tonight are Hugh Acheson (I’m planning on catching a Braves game and eating at your restaurant next month, buddy), Gail Simmons, Emeril Lagasse, Tom Colicchio and Padma. Once again, there is no Wolfgang Puck, which makes my world a sadder place. Also, the format is different from previous seasons in one key regard. The five judges will vote after each individual round. The overall quality of the meals will not be considered. Instead, the first player to earn a majority of the votes in three rounds will win the title of Top Chef. This aspect negates a lot of Tom Colicchio’s power as head judge and chief decider.

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