Survivor: Caramoan - Episode 2

Honey Badger

By Ben Willoughby

February 21, 2013

Oh, four is *less* than six!

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The first to get a ring on each of their posts wins immunity and the reward – the standard Survivor fishing kit. “Fans” are sitting out Laura.

Brenda, Andrea and Erik race out to the raft, and Brandon, Cochran and Corinne are doing the hauling for the “favorites”. For the “fans”, the raft/dive team is Julia , Sherri and Hope while Shamar, Matt and Eddie are pulling rope. As you’d expect, the “fans” get to their platform first, but it’s a very slight lead.

The diving starts off with Erik and Andrea taking turns going underwater, while Sherri does the work for the “fans”. Unfortunately for Sherri, the “favorites” are soon ahead six rings to one. And then it’s nine to two and the “favorites” are on their way back to shore. Sherri gets a third ring by the time they are halfway back, and by the time the “fans” collect their ninth ring and get back to shore, Malcolm has tossed two rings onto poles.

Unsurprisingly after last week’s immunity challenge, Reynold will be the first tosser for the “fans”. Malcolm misses. Phillip rotates in, and there’s a frustrating series of shots where both Reynold and Phillip get their rings to bounce off the top of their poles. And then Phillip scores! “Favorites” win immunity and reward! They all go “whoo!” and Probst urges them to enjoy the night off. “Fans”, one of the ten of you will be voted out.

Immediate cut to Reynold, who says that Shamar is a “cancer” and tonight is an obvious vote for Shamar. But Reynold, if I told you we are only 27 minutes into the show, would you still think it’s going to be obvious?




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After the break, the “favorites” are back at camp and talking about what a good feeling it is to win. They ooh and ahh over the fishing gear. Shouldn’t at least one of them be searching it for a hidden immunity idol or something?

Afterwards, Phillip brings Malcolm in to his alliance, and then we get what may be the cheesiest Probst-free moment we will ever see on Survivor. Phillip has a corporate announcement to make! Stealth R Us is expanding! There’s Mission: Impossible-type music as Phillip has the new team all lined up and introduces them to the camera. In addition to Phillip the Specialist, there’s Cochran the Intelligence Attaché, Malcolm the Enforcer, Andrea the Eliminator, Corinne the Dominatrix and True Grit Dawn. Shame we’ll never learn Brandon’s middle-management codename. The Lumberg!

Anyway, all of them play up to the camera, reality whores that they are, and then pretend to be pleased with their goofy names for Phillip’s benefit. Malcolm’s interview is basically “he’s out here running a spy corporation” and “if it keeps him happy..."

On the other beach, the fans are Monday Morning Quarterbacking the challenge. It is agreed that no one knew who was doing what. Then Reynold, who is reminding me more and more of Bradley Cooper in Wedding Crashers, immediately calls Shamar out, and declares that Shamar’s behaviour is “unacceptable where I come from”. They argue about it, and Reynold calls Shamar “childish” and then Reynold does a childish dance while waving his arms around and saying, “Listen to Shamar, listen to Shamar”. This is the Reynold version of a Code Red.


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