Top Chef: Seattle Recap

By David Mumpower

February 5, 2013

Can I bum a cigarette? How about some used panties?

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Stefan is next to plate, and his meal is a disaster. He presents braised pork belly with beer sauce, parsnip & eel ravioli that looks great from a distance. Up close, Tom points out that the sauce is at least 40% grease. And he has not gotten to the worst part yet. When the head judge of Top Chef takes a bite of the pork belly, there is an audible crunch. I mean the type of crunch that is generally reserved for audio clips in movies. I would not have believed such a noise could be real if I had not watched it happen.

Whatever Stefan has done to the dish, it is treacherous. The look on Tom’s face speaks volumes. He is genuinely afraid that he may chip a tooth if he takes another bite. There is fear in his eyes. Curtis politely states that he “loves that crunchy pork.” He also maintains that it may be a cultural issue that causes some people to enjoy…a forced trip to the dentist. Hugh makes a classic face as he tries to force his dish down. While everyone seems to enjoy the flavors of the dish, the reality is that Stefan should already have his bags packed unless somebody else messes up worse. And that is hard to imagine.

Josh attempts to continue his recent hot streak. He serves scrambled scallops with braised pork belly & bacon. I am very curious to hear what the judges think of his scrambled scallops. It is a desperate cooking maneuver yet somehow an ingenious one as well. The eventual decision is that Josh’s inventiveness is impressive. After spending the season establishing himself as a traditionalist, this forced bit of improvisation reveals a side of Josh nobody knew existed. Not only is he safe from elimination, he has a real chance at winning the challenge.




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Sheldon is less fortunate. He presents Korean BBQ filet mignon, (dynamite) tempura lobster, sesame cabbage, kimchi & teriyaki sauce. The judges meet his dish with a collective yawn. Hugh goes so far as to ponder why people are still attempting tempura. He points out that the other aspects of the dish are good, noting that the history of surf and turf explains this. People want two types of dishes that are not married. Tom quickly notes that the dishes are “not even dating.” Everyone has a good laugh at this, but I still believe Sheldon is safe tonight. He seemed to understand and respect the tenets of the challenge enough to stave off elimination.

Lizzie plates last. As she does so, she takes this final opportunity to point out how much she despises the kitchen equipment. I do not expect Lizzie to take a job as a cruise chef anytime soon. Her dish is cabbage stuffed with suckling pig & scallops with mustard sour cream. The flaw with the dish is readily apparent. She has not cooked the cabbage long enough. When the judges attempt to cut into the cabbage, it falls apart. Undercooked cabbage is also a nasty flavor. Everyone agrees that the overall taste of the dish is quite good. The ruined component does not stand out enough to overwhelm the other flavors. Lizzie won’t be winning tonight but she also won’t be going home, either.

The judges sound quite pleased with the overall quality of food. They converse about who deserves to win. The conversation focuses upon Brooke and Josh although Curtis Stone is an ardent supporter of Lizzie’s dish. Diametrically opposed is Hugh, who believes Lizzie should be in the bottom group. A couple of the cruise employees point their fingers in the direction of Stefan while Sheldon’s tempura is also a frustrating subject.


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