New at BOP: Review: Matrix Resurrections Movie Review: Moonfall Movie Reviews: Scream The #1 Movie in America November Forecast The Many Saints of Newark October Forecast New Trivia Question All site updates Share & Save   Tweet Print this column

There are many frayed nerves during this challenge. John Tesar immediately starts nagging his team that the knives only have to cut through paper. Brooke immediately signals the judges that her team is ready to be tested. Stefan and Lizzie both pass while Brooke herself has a lot of work to do. Her knife will not cut at all yet.

Perhaps panicking due to the competition, John requests a check for his team. Guess who fails! Kristen was already salty about John’s lack of camaraderie. Now he has failed to a task that JOSIE has managed. Eventually, he does and they become the first team to qualify. Almost immediately afterward, Sheldon calls for his team to be tested. All three men pass the requirements of Bob Kramer and advance. Brooke prevents her team from reaching the second round. And she feels terrible about it.

The second round’s irritation involves Josie. What a shock. Josie becomes the first player to cut herself during the challenge. The incision is tiny but the damage is done. With only two players competing, John and Kristen lose the numbers game to their opponents. Sheldon struggles in creating the correct type of potato but with a full player advantage, the outcome is a foregone conclusion. To their credit, John and Kristen finish only two behind the winning trio.

The final challenge should favor Sheldon, the would-be Blademaster of the cheftestants. Alas, he has never broken down bunnies before, presumably because he has a soul. Joshua handles more game yet he does no better. In an upset, Micah is the devourer of bunnies, making him the natural choice for a remake of Monty Python’s The Holy Grail. The editing proves to be a swerve as Sheldon fails to win the rare knife he covets. Meanwhile, Micah’s hot streak continues, although winning today’s challenge had little to do with cooking.

The Elimination challenge is another cheap shill for the Kindle Fire. I like our Kindles so I will cede to product placement this time. And I immediately have to do it again when the details of the challenge emerge. There is a Kindle Fire located under each chef’s station. These tablets are pre-loaded with memorable moments from previous seasons of Top Chef.

The participants are expected to recreate the dishes from these famous incidents, only healthier. This is the moment where I mention that Healthy Choice will reward $15,000 to the winner of the Elimination challenge. Yes, there are two different instances of product placement in the same segment. Top Chef turned into a whore so gradually I didn’t even notice.

John gets off the best zinger of the season thus far. One of the moments is Fabio’s hilarious quip, “This is Top Chef; it’s not Top Scallop.” The moment John sees Jamie the lesbian from that season, he shouts, “Stefan’s old girlfriend!” Yes, Stefan had a huge crush on the woman who later dated an actual cast member of The L Word. Now he is flirting with Kristen, whose maybe girlfriend has already been eliminated. I say again that Stefan has a type.

Continued:       1       2       3       4       5