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Bart discovers what everybody else already knows: John Tesar is selfish. Bart needs a blender. He notices that the only person who has claimed one that is currently unused is John. Guess who becomes territorial about his blender! The conversation quickly grows heated and Sir Bart the Paladin eventually drops an F-bomb on John. That’s like being slurred by a Sesame Street character. Mr. Tesar will not be starring in any Miss Congeniality sequels.

As the chefs reach their serving booths, Tom Colicchio shows up. He quizzes the cheftestants about their plans as well as their opponents. A humorous moment occurs as the old men of the competition, John and Stefan, attempt to talk smack. Stefan starts by mentioning that he should have no problem beating a 53-year-old man. John counters by tattling. He tells Professor Colicchio that his counterpart is not using sustainable product, instead purchasing a frozen block of tuna. The three of them enjoy a rare moment of levity during an otherwise stressful season.

The oddest moment of Top Chef: Seattle occurs when Josie serves her dish to the judges. I guess that Josie is auditioning for a permanent engagement as a chef/host in Branson, Missouri. She spends so much time entertaining the audience at her booth that her food preparations fall far behind. The line at her booth is longer than the line for all ten other meals combined. Gail Simmons whispers to Tom Colicchio, “Is she high?” Tom thinks she is joking; she is not. There is decent reason to believe that Josie took a 4:20 break during her meal preparation. Let’s all pretend to be surprised when she loses.

The judges sample the dueling dishes in combination. The first battle is Danyele vs. Joshua. She presents a chicken pine nut terrine with blueberry mostarda. It looks like an open-faced peanut butter and jelly sandwish with a garnish on top. Josh provides a savory goat cheese mousse with blueberry compote. This is a measured dish that is probably 1/20th the size of his last two pork dishes. The judges are shocked by the crunchy nature of Danyele’s dish. She has messed up her calculations. Josh looks to be the clear winner with Danyele in serious jeopardy of being eliminated.

Josie’s rock n’raspberry roll contains sockeye salmon, Dungeness crab & raspberry aioli. The end result is that a huge chunk of meat in the middle of the plate appears to be bleeding badly. This is nasty. Conversely, Lizzie creates another gorgeous plate of food: a raspberry steamed cabbage roll with heritage pork & bacon stuffing. The judges as well as the festival attendants all agree that Josie’s dish is a mess while Lizzie’s is a triumph.

Perhaps the biggest mismatch on paper is Sheldon vs. Micah. This is meant as no disrespect to Micah. Sheldon is just that good. His latest masterpiece is an ahi summer comprised of ahi poke, strawberries & sweet chili sauce. Micah counters with strawberry fried chicken with strawberry & bacon biscuit. All of Micah’s food sounds delicious but the judges again favor Sheldon. I think Micah is safe; he simply fell victim to a brutal match-up.

The prize fight of the afternoon is John vs. Stefan. Tesar serves a white gazpacho with Spanish chorizo, gooseberries & sweet grapes. It may be delicious but the cup looks like fat and grease floating to the surface. I wouldn’t eat that. Stefan rises to the challenge with a cali crudo with radishes, gooseberries & spiced vinaigrette. The judges appear skeptical when they see Stefan’s dish and are frustrated by the lack of gooseberry flavor. Overall, they like his dish, though. Meanwhile, John has failed in his attempt to balance the chorizo, which overwhelms the dish. Stefan is going to win this heat.

The final battle is between Brooke and Bart. She offers a spicy smoked chocolate pudding with blackberry tapioca. It looks like an ice cream sundae topped with berries. I want it in my mouth. Bart’s dish is blackberry soup with salmon & rhubarb yogurt. It looks like congealed cranberry sauce. The judges love it save for the salmon, though. A bitchy mother makes a snide comment about it that I presume is the production crew’s way of identifying why Brooke is going to beat him.

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