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We can’t leave Lisa without a look at her most emotional moment – brother Justice! “What did he say to you? Because you were very different before and after he left.” Come on, Probst, we saw this on the show! How many previouslies did you narrate about it? What sort of attention-challenged unicorn chasers do you think watch this show? I’m not even going to bother recapping the answer because I. Respect. My. Audience.

Probst next has to talk about the rain, because it rained for 21 days. And when Russell was in his previous season in Samoa, it rained for about the same number of days. We all know by now that God hates Russell, but do we need any more conclusive proof than this? Russell, can you describe how it felt to have rain every single day? “Cold, wet and miserable” is basically Russell’s answer. Next, Probst will ask what it feels like to eat food after winning a reward challenge.

Probst flips to Dana, who was evacuated this season. She can barely remember any of it, being “a little delusional.” She thanks Probst for showing up, and laments that she never went to Tribal Council or had a vote against her. Maybe she'll be back? Not likely.

After the commercial break, we are going to talk with Malcolm and Abi. Malcolm first.

Malcolm’s journey is recapped with the Matsing disaster followed by him getting his swagger back and reconsidering what he’s been doing with his life. Probst says that Malcolm has broken a lot of hearts by not winning – and his is broken the most.

Probst takes Malcolm back to that last challenge and compares it to Ozzy a few seasons ago, where “if you could win it, you could dictate what happened in the end. Did you have a sense, when you walked up and saw what it was, that you were in trouble?” Malcolm knew he was toast right away because he “has the least steady hands on the planet.” He had “clown tears” when he walked up, and couldn’t even do it with 100 chances.

Next question is basically “how do you feel being on a reality show, and you’re really, really popular and adored by everyone?” Oh yuck. Malcolm says it’s “nice,” and kind of a relief because when you go on the show you’re not entirely sure how you’re going to be perceived.

“Where does it come from, this ability – like Ozzy – to climb trees and swim and fish?” Not that we saw Malcolm do those things all the time or showboat about it like Ozzy did. And this is just gross. Probst can hardly contain his drool. Malcolm talks about “swagger” and self-confidence, and then the whale shark.

“The take-away from this show. Frustration?” Definitely, says Malcolm, but he’s a competitive guy and wants to win and is still mad about getting voted off. Would you play again? Probst is desperate for the chance to run his fingers through Malcolm’s hair. “I’d seriously consider playing again,” says Malcolm. Are his hands shaking?

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