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Probst then says that the Survivor crew learned an “ironic” lesson from Jeff Kent. “Every time we had a challenge that Jeff Kent lost, I expected to hear complaining, but every time he’d say ‘Hey, they got us, we’ll beat them next time.’ So I did learn something from you”. Why is that an ironic lesson? Oh right, because it was whiny Jeff Kent who taught it.

Are we going to learn about the moment people learned Jeff Kent was a major league baseballer? Or what the jury thought when Jonathan outed Lisa as being on The Facts of Life? No.

Instead, Probst switches to playing a montage of Michael getting hurt, and calls him “Mr. Magoo.” Abi hitting Michael with the coconut is the highlight. Probst claims he was getting calls about Michael’s self-harm every other day. Michael puts it all down to “playing hard” and how these things didn’t affect him out there because of his playing hard. Probst then presents Michael with the mask he broke in the Episode 3 reward challenge.

Anyway, we go to commercial with Probst reminding us that this was the 25th season, and taking a moment to thank the audience and remind us that “Survivor is still the most-watched show Wednesdays at 8.”

Now it’s time to get a recap of Lisa’s personal journey, as though this wasn’t described in detail every episode of the show. Was she concerned about her image? Lisa didn’t think about it, she was just so excited. Plus, she’s not a make-up and high-heel wearing kind of girl like the fictional character everyone compares her to.

“The Christianity, that was such a big part. Was that a concern?” Lisa says it was, because prayer “just doesn’t translate well” when it's televised. She says it makes prayer sound like “God cares who wins Survivor. I don’t think God cares who wins Survivor, has a favorite football team, has a favorite country or even a favorite religion.” She says God cares about Denise, who won a million dollars, just as much as He cares about Lisa, who didn’t.

Probst says that the dilemma we saw at home was “this devilish game, which is pitted against your Christianity.” Lisa takes us through her personal journey of spending a lifetime of wanting to be good, but nothing about Survivor reflects the character of God. But then Lisa realized that it’s okay to be human and sometimes good and sometimes bad, both within the game and outside, and that Christianity is about acceptance. It would have been great if Lisa had realized that earlier. For a start, she could have practiced “telling lies” and “deception” like other contestants practice starting fires and making poles.

Probst has to ask, “then for someone like you, what’s the appeal of Survivor?” Lisa talks about “love of this game,” which makes no sense, and about a book she read about “living from your gut, not from your head.” She even met with the author about how to do that, and his advice was “put yourself in a situation out of your control, and it will happen.” So, Survivor! Whenever people talk about “thinking with your gut,” I always think about John Cusack in High Fidelity saying his gut has crap for brains.

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