New at BOP: Review: Matrix Resurrections Movie Review: Moonfall Movie Reviews: Scream The #1 Movie in America November Forecast The Many Saints of Newark October Forecast New Trivia Question All site updates Share & Save   Tweet Print this column

Malcolm, what do you think about taking Abi to the final group? “Who I can beat is definitely being considered,” is Malcolm’s basic response.

Abi speaks up here. According to her, no one can beat Denise: “she’s manipulative, she’s good with words, she’s a physical threat… It’s going to be one of the two. Lisa and [Michael] are not winning this game.” What’s your reaction, Michael? “So many things...” Michael begins one of his long-winded answers. “Because you’re an idiot! That’s why you’re going to lose a million dollars,” Abi interrupts. Michael starts again, and gets a “You’re a moron,” from Abi, and then another “You’re a moron.” “It’s just her way of communicating,” says Michael lamely, knowing that he’s going to vote her out in ten minutes. “He thinks he’s going to win a million dollars at the end. He’s not,” says Abi.

I realise that Abi is playing a game, but I'll point out the obvious (again) that her honesty is refreshing and true to who she is, but when someone is honest to her and says that she’s not pleasant to be around, she is all offended at how anyone could say anything so horrible. By the way, did you know that Abi is 32?

Anyway, Probst is getting nowhere with Michael, so he switches to Lisa and asks if the more Abi talks, the more reason to keep her in the game. Lisa says she is “looking to take someone I can beat." “I would be the only person you can beat,” Abi makes her argument again.

Probst now asks Abi that if she’s such a sure-fire loser, what does she care about staying in the game? “I came this far, I’d like to at least make it to final three.” Malcolm’s turn now. He points out correctly that that people have done the “take me, you’re still going to win” before and it’s led to them winning a million dollars, and if Michael and Lisa take Abi thinking she’s a goat, “be prepared. She won’t go down without a fight and she could still pull this thing off."

Probst’s next question is basically “Abi, being a loudmouth, bad or just how I’m playing Survivor?” “How I’m playing the game,” says Abi. “Denise is playing like she’s elite... the difference between me and her is I’m here to win a million dollars, she’s here to make friends, clearly." Denise, who clearly isn’t here to make friends with Abi, clarifies that she’s here to win a million dollars.

And it’s time to vote. Abi’s vote is predictably for Denise. “Patronizing, judgmental, you’re just not a good person,” she says. Denise’s equally predictable vote is for Abi and “if this vote doesn’t go as planned, there is something seriously wrong in the universe." On the jury, Jonathan does that passive-aggressive middle-finger-eyebrow-scratch thing while Malcolm is voting, but it’s not clear whether it's for Malcolm who is in the voting booth, or someone else. Why would Jonathan be shy about giving anyone the finger? Maybe he was just itchy. Probst goes to “tally” the votes. But first, hidden immunity idol anyone? No one moves. Malcolm’s mother will be thrilled with her new piece of junk from her son who wants to show he's good at things.

And the votes are Denise. Abi. Abi. Abi. Abi. Thank you. “Good luck to all of you,” Abi says through gritted teeth. Probst points out that now it is a showdown between two Tandang and two Matsing. And who would have predicted this final four after, say, the first four episodes of the season?

As they walk out, the Survivor editors take pains to include the audio with all of the remaining castaways laughing their heads off. Michael, who is probably still high on sugar, is even dancing and making finger guns in the air.

Next time on Survivor, it’s the finale, where alliances will be “shattered." This Sunday!

Abi’s final interview is that things did not go her way after the merge, and she was “targeted as the crazy Latina” when she was “direct and straight to the point” and it “bit me in my big Brazilian ass." So Abi leaves pretty much the way she came into the game, by talking about her ass. I look forward to your bitter question from the jury, Abi.

Continued:       1       2       3       4       5       6