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Michael encourages his son to shimmy up a palm tree with a machete to hack down some coconuts. He makes it close enough to swing the machete at them ineffectually, but then he slides down scraping his arms and chest in the process. “That’s my boy,” interviews Michael. This is one of those times when the joke writes itself. How has this gene pool not wiped itself out yet?

Meanwhile, Justice – who, by the way, is 20 years younger than Lisa – is volunteering to gather “intel” for Lisa like he’s a Spec Ops agent that everybody else will totally trust. Lisa says that’s sweet. They have a conversation about how Lisa is in a strong alliance of four, but she does not want Malcolm in the final three and she recaps the blind-side that she would have pulled off if only Pete weren't such a dimwit.

Justice reminds Lisa that she was “all about the game” when she left, which is news to all of us, and she tells us again that “anything shady” would go against her character. Justice interviews that it is his job to remind Lisa that it is all just a game, and that she doesn’t have to feel guilty about “betraying” people.

So now, Michael and Lisa and their respective loved ones are having a pow-wow and Justice suggests to everyone that they should blind-side Malcolm. I still can’t take Justice seriously, because he sounds more like an inmate of Oz than Blair’s kid brother, but everyone starts talking about what a great idea it is.

Then, when Lisa and Justice are alone (there is some sketchy editing going on), Justice reminds Lisa that she betrayed Malcolm already and he was all “hey, it’s just a game,” so there’s really no personal downside to betraying him again. And now Lisa (of all people) in interview is like “Yay! Betrayal! After 31 days, I can play this game!” But there’s a lot of the episode left to go. Will Lisa suffer another emotional crisis before then?

The next morning, Lisa leads Justice and the two Michaels in a prayer blessing all the other castaways. Hilariously, her plea to God includes the phrase “if you want Malcolm or Denise or Carter... or even Abi to win”. God is probably thinking “I’ll save Abi winning for when I need to tell the human race ‘you’re all screwed.'" The more secular people describe them as “bonding over Jesus," which is true, but at least they mean it, not like when Coach did it.

Now Malcolm has an interview where he is worried that Lisa was at “rock bottom emotionally” and that Justice has “snapped her back to her senses." Then why did you invite him to stay with you? Once again, Malcolm fails to live up to his goal of playing a sociopathic game.

Meanwhile, the Christians are agreeing that if Jesus played Survivor, he would sadly look a little like Malcolm. That’s right, blond, blue-eyed Malcolm. Lisa says that if Jesus were here, he’d probably play more like Carter, which is even worse. Rowr! Somewhere up in Heaven, Jesus has whispered a quiet message to St. Peter about the guest list. Anyway, Lisa interviews that they have to trust in God’s bigger plan, which mercifully includes “don’t rely on God to help you win reality TV shows."

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