Survivor: Philippines - Episode 7

Not the Only Actor on This Island

By Ben Willoughby

November 1, 2012

She won Halloween with this Jane costume.

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The two boats arrive at their new island, and the merged tribe introduces themselves to each other. Probst doesn’t show up to hand out new buffs. The two returnees Michael and Jonathan exchange a manly hug. Denise looks around for Malcolm, but probably wisely, he’s paying attention to other people.

The new tribe sits around with a feast and tells each other where they are from and what they do. Jeff Kent seems a bit grumpy, but he impresses Artis and Malcolm with the big reveal that he’s a motorcycle dealer. Imagine what they’ll do when they find out he was a baseball player. Everyone’s minds will be blown.

They all go on about the feast, but the only highlight is Lisa drinking wine from the bottle and then giggling the way she learned on The Facts of Life’s very special episode about underage drinking. And it turns out that Michael has seven kids, which is surprising since he shares so many attributes with Darwin Award winners.

Pete interviews that his plan was to go Tandang strong, but “RC would never let that happen” and Michael “doesn’t have a brain of his own and will just do whatever RC tells him." Right. The fact that you’ve been whining turds to them for 17 days has nothing to with them not wanting to vote with you.

Michael interviews that Pete and Abi were surprisingly quiet during the meet and greet. He says that he and RC have no alliance with Tandang any more, and consider themselves free agents.




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The Tandang ladies are talking about connecting with Denise, the only other woman left. RC suggests that she and Denise might get on because of the swimming connection, and Abi voluntells RC to act as a spy to get information. So RC replies “Just because you want me to get information, I worry because we aren’t one big happy family. We can pretend to be all we want, but we haven’t, for 17 days." “Right, right, it’s true,” Abi says grudgingly, but I think this is because she is forced to agree with RC. Anyway, RC’s an idiot. Why would she point out that the Tandang majority hates her and she has every reason to flip? I don’t understand her gameplay.

The new tribe has a new shelter to build, and in an effort to be helpful at something, Lisa hangs up everyone’s clothes to dry out. And what does she find in Malcolm’s bag but the hidden immunity idol? How interesting for her! It’s a shame the immunity idol fine print precludes finders keepers.

Anyway, Malcolm realizes that someone knows he has the idol and after conferring with Denise in the jungle, learns it’s Lisa. In interview, he blames Lisa’s hanging out of the clothes on “estrogen kick[ing] in”. Because women are full of lady hormones that tell them to do stuff for men, even when the men just want to be left alone. Malcolm is quite annoyed in this interview. Mother issues.

So Malcolm gets Lisa on her own and asks “What would you like to tell me?” Lisa immediately blabs “I didn’t mean to." They agree that she was just a sweet old lady who wanted to dry everyone’s clothes, and Malcolm volunteers his alliance with Denise and says that Lisa reminds him of his mother. I’ll say it again. Mother. Issues.


Continued:       1       2       3       4       5       6       7

     


 
 

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