Survivor: Philippines - Episode 2

Don't Be Blinded By The Headlights

By Ben Willoughby

September 27, 2012

People are rarely this happy to be voted off of Survivor.

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Denise and Russell talk about the vote, and Russell’s earful from Roxy. Russell says that Angie is not as innocent as she looks, and that if Roxy goes and Matsing loses yet another challenge, Russell knows he will be next. Denise agrees that Angie is deadly and then in interview complains about how she is caught right in the middle. In Survivor, being in the middle is exactly where a player like Denise should want to be. Everyone relies on you, and no one is thinking about voting you off. No complaints, Denise! Denise is especially worried that she is in an alliance with Malcolm, and if somebody’s snuggling and she’s the odd one out, she’ll be on the bottom and she does not want to be on the bottom. Thank you for that image, Iowa’s only sex therapist.

At Tribal Council, there’s another snake. Probst first asks Russell about his emotion, and Russell declares that he’s not here to dilly-dally, he’s here to kick butt! So right, intense. Probst goes to Denise, describing Russell’s post-challenge emotion as “accusatory.” Denise agrees it felt that way, but she gets it.

Probst then asks Roxy what the one thing she could change about the tribe would be. Roxy says it’s that they spend about 75% of their energy around camp, and that it’s a downer when they get back from a challenge they lost to say “right, back to work.” Would it be better to wallow around in defeat? I’d rather do something to get my mind off things. Denise points out that you need to work in order to be strong enough to compete in the challenges. Probst asks the same “what would you change” question to Angie. She hesitates for about five seconds, and then comes up with “cookies.” I thought beauty queens were supposed to be good at answering questions like this? Everyone double-takes, and Roxy gives the editors a “Wow!” for impact. I’m surprised there wasn’t a gong sound effect.




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Probst asks Malcolm about the “cookies” answer, and Malcolm says he can understand it. Probst busts out the Seth Meyers impression he’s been working on all summer with a “Really?!!?!?” and mocks the cookies answer. Malcolm defends his girlfriend’s honor by deflecting that Survivor “is tough on the girls, emotionally and physically.” But what does that have to do with cookies? Malcolm lamely finishes by saying that “I’m not saying cookies is a phenomenal answer.” Probst is still going on about the cookies, so he asks Russell. Russell gives mad props to Angie, but says you have to put everything out there every challenge and be completely about action, like Angie should have been pulling the sled with her teeth.

Roxy is asked whether she sees friendships forming, and she volunteers that she sees other things as well between Malcolm and Angie, beyond an alliance. Probst enjoys nothing better than hearing about castaway love, so he asks “Romance?” “Probably,” says Roxy. Malcolm, with an embarrassed grin on his face, explains that he and Angie sleep next to each other for mutual warmth, and because no one else is snuggling, the others are nervous. But he claims to think of Angie like a little sister – a little sister with enormous breasts, according to the guy I stole this joke from. Roxy calls out fondling someone who reminds you of your little sister as “creepy,” and again calls it a booby trap. Angie says “Sorry, I would cuddle with you, but...” but what? Roxy cuts this off with a “No, I’m good.” No cuddling!

Russell calls relationships the tightest alliance in Survivor, like he’s some expert. Angie claims to understand what this means, but Probst feels he has to spell it out for her – that "the mere mention of romance can get you voted out,” and “Roxy just threw that cloud of suspicion over [Angie].” Angie, still not getting it, says that’s just Roxy’s opinion, and Probst orders her to wake up, with a clap of his hands. There are issues with Probst inserting himself into the game dynamics like this, but will it really have any impact? Everyone understands except Angie, and she’s remaining willfully obstinate. Malcolm hopes his tribe mates understand that he and Angie are just sibling snugglers, and Roxy says that a pair is very dangerous. “Good luck to the rest of you if you choose her over me.” And it’s time to vote.


Continued:       1       2       3       4       5       6

     


 
 

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