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The appetizer round begins as expected. There is a look of horror on the faces of the six spouses as Chris’ cigar dish is revealed. The look of this is eerily similar to…well, you ordinarily find it in a diaper. He has further pushed the boundaries of good taste by creating an ash effect around the cigar. Stating the obvious, any dish that requires a diner to swallow ash is ill considered. These six people simultaneously recoil at the thought of it. A couple of them seem to be calculating whether it is too late to cancel the progressive party. What’s worse is that the other dishes are very well received. As the diners recount their enjoyment of the meal, one politely states that most dishes are good but a couple are a bit lacking. Tom has a quip he has probably been readying for an hour, “Close but no cigar.” Moto Chris HAS to be going home tonight.

The entrée portion of the evening doesn’t go quite as well. While Heather and Ty build each other up in the kitchen (remember that he was her sous chef for a while), neither of their dishes is a crowd pleaser. Heather has overcooked lamp chops that bother Gail and Tom. Heather is going to be on the bottom. Ty’s dish is “dry” and “sloppy”; he may be on the bottom as well. Chuy’s salmon is “extremely mild” but one of the wives states it is “very good”. So, he should be fine. Nyesha receives the most humorous criticism. Her meat dish is served with a red wine reduction. The women quickly agree that it looks like blood around the meat, an unappetizing thought that bothers them almost as much as the cigar did. The fact that John Besh dismisses this complaint indicates Nyesha is fine.

The potential Real Housewives are looking forward to dessert. And the chefs seem to deliver, given the images shown. Dakota’s bread pudding includes an inventive decision to put milkshake in a date. The diner drinks the milkshake then eats its container. Genius. Chris C. makes a cupcake (does this fall under the cake guidelines above?) that has enough icing to qualify as diabetic. Edward creates a gorgeous panna cotta although the raspberries on top create the appearance of a face with googly eyes. The housewives are quick to criticize this. Appearance is clearly everything in Dallas society. Grayson makes a spongecake with caramelized bananas that I wish I could order online right now. For a Top Chef episode, the dessert section has gone quite well.

The judges more or less confirm this assumption. Grayson’s dish is too rich for some but generally well received. The guests love Dakota’s bread pudding enough that I think she might win overall. Edward’s dish is compromised upon as “jiggly looking” but much richer in flavor than its appearance indicates. The lone disagreement involves the cupcake. Court Westcott had asked the chefs to channel their inner fat kid for the dish. He believes that Chris’ cupcake is one of the best he’s ever had. Tom gives him a look at utter disbelief. Then, he says the following, “My mother told me once that if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything. I’ll just remain silent right now.” Moto Chris, don’t pack your knives just yet.

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