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The contest is a good ol’ fashioned chili cook-off, something that warms the heart of everyone in Texas. There is also no time limit for this competition. In fact, the contestants will be cooking at their home, meaning they can dedicate as much of their free time as they want to creating the ultimate chili concoction. The downside is that there are fewer cooking supplies at home than there are at the corporate sponsored Top Chef Kitchen.

There is also limited time to order food at the grocery store. Remember that annoying moment I mentioned from the prior episode where Beverly jumped the line and started shouting that she was the only customer who mattered? She does the same damned thing this week. Quickfire Challenge winner Paul is actually the first participant to reach the meat counter, but his order for 30 pounds of beef brisket falls on deaf ears. Why? Ty shows up and makes the same order. Paul snaps at Ty, whose expression is very much “What? I should get served before you. I have an umlaut in my name!” I am not liking Ty thus far this season.

Then, Beverly claims an order right in front of Dakota, who is notified that they do not have enough brisket to fulfill her order. Frustrated, she states, “I was the first person to ask for it”, which is not correct (Paul beat her by an instant) but close enough to be disgusting. Top Chef needs to introduce some rules that enhance civility while punishing obnoxious behavior such as demonstrated by Beverly. Dakota eventually settles for short rib. We’ll see if this hurts her.

The evening’s preparations largely involve a determination about how much sleep the various challengers will get and a fight over location and the supplies. The funniest moment occurs when Nyesha is accused of “stealing all the beer”, an act she brags about as it shows the level of preparation of her team. As most of the people believe that since the longer the chili is cooked, the richer the flavor will be, it’s in their best interest to stay up all night. Everyone who has heard Larry Miller’s funniest comedy routine should be cracking up right now. Sure enough, most of the “cooking” devolves into drunken hijinks among strangers. Chuy in particular is an annoying drunk. This alleviates me of the fear that I’m projecting my dislike of all things Star Wars onto him simply because of his name.

When the chili cook-off kicks off, Texas native Sarah throws on her cowboy hat. Then, she tells all of the customers that she is a local. Next, she weighs in on the hot button issue of the day, the presence of beans in chili. To some people, this is an unforgivable transgression. Eventually, she shouts at anyone who will listen that her father used to work at the rodeo. I may owe Chuy an apology. I like him a lot more than Sarah thus far.

The tricky aspect of today’s elimination challenge is that the Texans decide who wins the competition. Conversely, the judges decide which team finishes last and who will be voted out. In instances such as this, chefs are forced to walk the line between populist cuisine that will please the blandest of palates (i.e. mine) and high-brow fare that will satisfy the highly evolved palates of the show’s judges. Ordinarily, the team that is most certain about their populist meal winds up losing horribly. I’m not pointing any fingers but that is Nyesha’s trio, who have used chocolate to win over the women in the crowd. I hope I’m wrong.

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