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For people who still giggle at the mere thought of Ross Gellar shouting “Piv-ot!”: Trust

David Schwimmer, who is to Ross Gellar as Leonard Nimoy is to Spock, directs this feature starring Clive Owen and Catherine Keener. As you may expect for someone who seems as angry as Schwimmer, the subject matter is morose. Owen and Keener portray the parents of a 14-year-old girl who develops an online crush with an older boy. He claims to be sixteen, but that number keeps bumping up until they meet face to face. By then, she realizes he is 35. As one would expect, this information creeps her out, yet when the would-be To Catch a Predator co-star compliments her looks, the girl decides to have sex with him. Unbeknownst to her, he tapes it and everyone at school finds out about the situation thanks to her loose-lipped friend. So, she has a pretty bad week. Owen’s character cannot forgive himself for failing to protect his child, and he experiences a strong bout of depression as well. This is difficult subject matter that is not for everyone, but if you like strong acting performances, it should be your cup of tea. Either way, this seems like programming ultimately destined to be featured on a Lifetime double feature along with something starring Tori Spelling.

For BOP’s #1 Bruce Campbell stalker: Burn Notice: The Fall of Sam Axe

Frequent readers of the site are well aware of the popularity of Burn Notice within our staff. Long time readers also know that BOP’s Kim Hollis is someone Bruce Campbell should have a restraining order against. Instead, he was impossibly cordial with her the last time they met. For that matter, he seems to have that twinkle in his eye whenever he meets his *ahem* more obsessive fans. Campbell is well aware of his subversive popularity in pop culture, recognizing that he is more talented than many more prosperous actors. Rather than focus on the negative, however, he embraces the thought process that his entire career is something of a fluke and this makes him the real salt of the Earth sort of fellow. BOP unabashedly adores him.

We had planned to watch Burn Notice anyway simply for casting him as the third lead in a three player ensemble. To our collective shock, Burn Notice has proven to be a revelation as a witty espionage serial that does a terrific job embracing formulaic television in original ways. BOP’s Martin Felipe frequently evaluates Mythology programming, the shows that contain a detailed tapestry of events. Remarkably, Burn Notice qualifies under this umbrella as each season is constructed as a meticulously crafted sequence of events leading to a face-off with the person pulling the strings, oftentimes in a capacity that deviates from expectation.

Considering Burn Notice’s history in this regard, there is not a great deal of surprise that the popular wiseacre, Sam Axe, is afforded an opportunity for his own standalone film. The surprise is probably that a younger actor was not cast in this prequel as is the norm in the industry. Instead, the producers of the show figured that they already had the best in Bruce Campbell, and they weren’t going to do better than that. So, they may as well show him off for a couple of hours of television. This is exactly what The Fall of Sam Axe does. It is 100 minutes of Bruce Campbell being Bruce Campbell. If that is not your cup of tea, well, I hate you and hope you die screaming. Too harsh? Perhaps. But I love the actor that much. In fact, when I think of The Majestic, the failed Jim Carrey movie from 2001, I remember it primarily as a Bruce Campbell title. I believe Campbell has fewer than 10 lines in the entire feature, yet that is how much I lock in on his presence in a given title. If you are like me in this regard, The Fall of Sam Axe is enjoyable escapism, albeit much more predictable than the average Burn Notice outing. If you are not like me and are not interested in watching Bruce Campbell do his thing, then may God have mercy on your dark heart and empty void of a soul.

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