Viking Night: Tank Girl

By Bruce Hall

April 4, 2011

Imagine what their second date will be like.

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The narrative tone was improvisational and disjointed, filled with juvenile humor and off the wall pop culture references. It was designed to appeal to the less fatalistic, more intellectually focused post punk generation, and it did. Today, it seems inevitable that such a thing would eventually be made into a movie. And by the 1990s, the comic book film was already enjoying a renaissance, with Tim Burton successfully rescuing Batman’s live action fortunes from their campy, late '60s hell. But broad willingness to make any and every mildly intriguing graphic novel or comic into a movie did not yet exist in Hollywood. And Burton was one of the few directors who could command near total control over such a project when it was given to him. So in a way, Tank Girl’s big screen debut was doomed before the first foot of film ever rolled through the camera.

My theory is that what made the comic a hit with hipster college dropouts and tattooed record store clerks is what made the movie impossible to film. Tank Girl was a mercenary for an incompetent, retro futuristic government vaguely reminiscent of Margaret Thatcher’s Britain, circa 1988.

The process by which she goes from soldier to outlaw involves the country’s buffoonish president and a colostomy bag. Her boyfriend is a kangaroo. She’s vulgar, blasphemous, murders at will, drinks like a bitter old man, curses like a longshoreman and dresses like the love child of Joan Jett and Courtney Love. And then there’s the constant stream of cultural references and quirky characters which were designed to appeal primarily to Britain’s nascent fanboy demographic. These things were as much a part of the cast as the Girl in the Tank and without them; the brand loses what makes it distinctive. But these things also did not translate well into a big budget movie aimed at American audiences.




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Gutting the story was the first thing that had to happen, but doing so changed the material from refreshing fun into just another dumb genre story. That’s unfortunate because among the things the movie has going for it is visual style. The film’s world resembles a giant Toys-r-Us mockup of Cindy Lauper’s apartment. The end of the world has never looked so colorful, clean and fun.

Technically there is a story, and it involves a comet hitting the Earth, an evil corporation that hoards all the water in the world and Tank Girl’s wisecracking battle to bring them to justice. It’s not really important, and the film never attempts to make it feel that way. But almost every core attribute that made the comic a success was stripped away, except the look and the energy. And if Red Bull has taught us anything, it’s that energy without substance tastes bad and wears off fast. The comic was rarely about anything, it was mostly a loosely connected series of madcap misadventures involving a girl with a tank and a kick ass wardrobe.


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