Top Chef All Stars Recap

By David Mumpower

March 16, 2011

Don't worry, Carla. We still love the hootie-hoo out of you.

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While Tiffany is the only All-Star who feels like she missed an opportunity due to the fire, none of the five chefs will be singing any Disney happy worker anthems during the rest of the evening. Poor Carla just can’t catch a break as her kitchen appliances once again fail her during the final stages of the meal. Her pork cooks unevenly with the middle portion far too rare to be served. She attempts to “MacGyver” a workaround as she knows that undercooked food is a huge no-no, a chef faux pas she has already committed once in the episode. Antonia’s situation is similarly perilous. She doesn’t feel like her dish “came from me”. It’s clear from the editing that both women are in a lot of trouble.

Carla’s meal is the first served to King Red Stripe and the judges; it is a fried pork medallion with sweet potato puree, apple sauce & apple chip. Everyone agrees that it is beautiful, but Eric Ripert finds it far too sweet. The guy from the Bahamian bobsled team or whatever says, “A little sweet, yes, but I like sweet”. At this point, Gail states her concern with the dish and the camera closes in to confirm her statement. MacGyver has failed Carla as not all of the pork was saved from an undercooked fate. It looks disgusting.

Antonia is next on the docket with crispy shrimp & grits with cilantro & pickled vegetables. Visually, it is a great looking stack of food. In terms of taste, the guests seem to like it. Alas, Eric Ripert feels that the meat is overcooked and Padma emphatically nods her consent. Gail is unable to identify a meat hidden at the bottom of the dish while Tom becomes obsessed with a random strand of carrot at the top of the dish that he describes as Howard Johnson-ish. Yes, both women are in a lot of trouble.




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Mike Isabella delivers his dish next and it looks like white meat covered by green spit. Also, the dish is formed like a human body that has a yam erection. There is a sentence I never thought I’d type. I am told it is sous vide chicken, mushrooms, yams, lobster sauce & lobster hash yet I continue to be hypnotized by the appearance of it. This looks like what we see if we looked on the table beside someone who just had their stomach pumped. The judges love it.

Richard delivers a plate of roasted lamb loin & malted braised leg with pickled turnip & mustard. I am going to spare you the specifics, but my first thought about what it looks like ordinarily involves a plunger. As far as I can tell, during this elimination competition, the appearance of the dish is inversely proportional to its critical reception. The judges make it clear that Richard is safe while also stating how impressed they are by his ability to make an entirely new dish this creative in the span of a few hours. In the kitchen, Richard has a bout of uncontrollable self-loathing that strikes me as karmic vengeance for his earlier behavior with Antonia. Alas, I like Richard too much to stay mad at him, so I’m more concerned by how little joy he gets from being one of the best chefs in the world.


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