Viking Night:
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

By Bruce Hall

September 28, 2010

Seriously, I don't think Guy should date Madonna and Jason shouldn't do that sex scene in Crank.

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All seems lost until Eddy overhears their neighbors planning a heist on a neighborhood drug dealer. Eddy and the boys decide to rob the robbers and acquire a set of weapons from a couple of small time hoods in order to make it happen. What they don’t realize as they set their plan in motion is that the weapons they purchased were stolen from The Hatchet, their neighbors might be on to them and Harry’s debt collector is hot on their heels. Eddy and his friends aren’t the brightest guys in London but luckily for them nobody else involved in this caper is, either. Through a complex comedy of errors, everything comes to a head at the movie’s climax and just when you think you know how it’s going to end, Lock, Stock leaves off on one of the more entertaining cliffhangers since The Italian Job.

As I said, Ritchie gets a lot of static for supposedly aping Tarantino but it isn’t entirely deserved. Lock, Stock has flaws to be sure but they’re mainly the result of an inexperienced writer/director who never really had much to say other than "Look at me! I’m here!" Lock, Stock is shrewd, stylish, well edited and imminently quotable. But most of the characters are indistinguishable from each other – Eddy and his pals are likeable but they’re all lifeless, sneering carbon copies. The antagonists are colorful and menacing but again, they’re almost interchangeable. The Hatchet, The Dog, The Baptist, Big Chris…you could swap just the names or the actors and roles themselves, and you’d still end up with pretty much the same movie. So much like a music video or a delicious bear claw, Lock, Stock is a filling, satisfying but ultimately pointless experience.




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This is a movie with little meaning, less to say and very little to remember other than the fact that it was worth a good laugh. But at the time it was released, this movie was something of a breath of fresh air. London’s East End underworld constituted an exotic change of scenery for most moviegoers and despite their similarities Ritchie’s characters were a welcome variation on the standard Hollywood crime flick in style, if not substance. The movie’s slick editing, gritty, sepia urban look and retro soundtrack made for a satisfying presentation and more importantly, left little time for analysis. The more you think about things, the more the seams show and the less exciting your experience. But when it’s your birthday are you counting the calories or are you just enjoying the taste?

My advice with Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels is to just enjoy the taste. It’s your birthday and Guy Ritchie’s gift to you is a brisk ride that’s undeniably just a really fun way to spend an hour and a half. And if it doesn’t leave you with a smile on your face when it ends, then you should have known this probably wasn’t your cup of tea to begin with.


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