New at BOP: Review: Matrix Resurrections Movie Review: Moonfall Movie Reviews: Scream The #1 Movie in America November Forecast The Many Saints of Newark October Forecast New Trivia Question All site updates Share & Save   Tweet Print this column

Previously on Survivor, one of the bad players was voted off. Oh, who are we kidding? They're all bad players this season. Of course, this player was particularly terrible. Her name was Yasmin, and she had somehow managed to alienate all of the players on both tribes. Considering the fact that there hasn't been a merge yet, that's one of the greatest feats of antisocial behavior in the history of the show. Perhaps the most unexpected aspect of the vote is that Yasmin was not a slam dunk to go. Monica, whose performance in the Immunity Challenge was Kyle Boller-esque, received a couple of votes from her tribe. And Shambo has roughly the same popularity as Congress. This is what happens when a tribe goes 12 days before they can eliminate someone.

The opening segment sets the tone for the direction of Galu this week. Monica is one of those players who loses her mind at the idea that someone would vote for her on a show that requires people to vote someone on their tribe out each time they lose an immunity challenge. Shambo voted against her, and in Monica's mind, this move was enough to declare war. So it's bottom feeder vs. bottom feeder at Galu right now. Our money's on Shambo. It's the power of the mullet.

A man can do strange things when he's trapped on an island. Some guys start chasing after mermaids; some men befriend volleyballs. And then there's Erik the Bartender. He takes a sand bath and then feuds with the ocean. He's mad about the current and just considers its entire behavior rude. Erik has reached that point just before you start stroking the machete and creeping out your tribemates (we call this The Matthew). In his defense, everyone is a bit unsettled by the waves. It's Point Break out there, with some toasty sets that would make Bodhi drool. RIP, Patrick Swayze.

The sea is angry this day, our friends. But there is one thing that can soothe the ocean...Probst sighting! The dimpled one announces that today's Reward Challenge is a gross food tasting event! This means that David, suffering from flu-like symptoms, must leave the room until it's over! It also means that Kim (aka me) is stuck watching this horrible segment of television. Seriously, Survivor producers. If I wanted to watch Fear Factor...well, I know I can't watch anymore but I wouldn't even if I could.

Basically, one person from each tribe will approach the Probst Area. They will spin a wheel, and each of them will drop a ball on the wheel. Whichever two nasty things it lands on will be combined in a blender to create a smoothie. First team to get five points (it's not a race - they get a point if they keep the smoothie down) will win a beachside barbecue.

The first two contestants to do battle are Jaison and Shambo. Their balls land on giant clam and "Jeff's choice". Jeff doesn't hold back, noticing that flies are crawling all over the octopus. He adds some sea snail and other crap and it's time to drink. Shambo drinks hers down straightaway, while Jaison struggles with his final swallow. He's looking like he might gack it all up, but he manages to hold it down, and both players are awarded a point.

Continued:       1       2       3