Survivor: Samoa

Taking Candy From a Baby

By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower

September 24, 2009


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Previously on Survivor, a guy burned his teammates' socks. And we're not talking about him doing it in that cute Rupert fashion from the pirate season, either. A rich, crazy, mean guy named, well, Coach 2 gleefully proclaimed to the viewers that he plans to manipulate all of the dumb chicks on the show in a manner that allows him to win the game. He wants to show just how easy it is to beat Survivor. He proceeded to demonstrate this in ways that hearken back to the days of cartoon villainy, wherein a mustachioed evildoer ties a damsel in distress to some train tracks and relishes every moment as the train heads straight toward her. The victim in question, Marisa, was voted off the show, making this the second straight season that the best-looking cast member was the first to go. We call this the Dolly the Sheep Farmer scenario.

We start the evening with Foa Foa, where Evil Russell and Betsy are having a discussion. Betsy approaches him to ask if he will ever talk to her again, realizing that the best way to figure out his angles is to keep him talking. As a cop, she knows Evil Russell will slip up if he keeps flapping his gums. It's like Criminal Minds: Samoa - which CBS is probably very pleased about and considering adding to their lineup as a mid-season replacement. And in fact, Evil Russell does talk too much. He and Betsy agree that they don't trust each other, and she comments that she feels very confident that her early read on Evil Russell is correct. She expresses no regrets in voting against Ashley last week, even though she knows that Evil Russell was able to eliminate the last person who went up against him.

Our first look at the Galu tribe shows Yasmin, the hairstylist, demonstrating why she would have been better served going on the apprentice. She is obviously miserable after having spent an evening outside, as she bitches and complains about camping, people who like camping, and the individual who came up with the notion of "outdoors" in the first place. It seems that she's been told, "If you can make it in Detroit (her home town), you can make it anywhere." We think that the Motor City has just played a tremendous prank on her. Let's just say that if she were to join the WWE, her nickname would not be Nature Girl.


Meanwhile, over at Foa Foa, the redneck known as Ben has captured the Geico mascot and is ready to cook it up for dinner. He's acting like he's ready to feed his entire tribe, but really, the little lizard is probably smaller than one buffalo wing. Also, since he has the British accent, he's probably gamey, too.

While the Foa Foa gang considers eating something that might taste like "chicken fish", Evil Russell has another plan. Obviously, he has watched Survivor before. He realizes that there is a good chance that their small encampment will contain a hidden immunity idol. Rather than wait for clues to appear, why not go ahead and look for it now? He's not very secretive about it, but he correctly notes that his tribemates are a little bit oblivious, and when he does in fact find the idol(!), he's able to stick in it in his shorts and walk away undetected. We don't like the guy, but have to admit, this is a genius bit of game play. His deal with the devil is apparently iron clad.

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