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Padma goes on to announce the Elimination Challenge. The judges want to learn more about their "dark side," so the chefs have to make a dish based on one of their vices. They will cook in their Quickfire teams - the top chef in each team will be eligible for winning the challenge, the bottom chef in each team will be up for elimination.

Oh, and by the way, the guest judge will be Wolfgang Puck. The chefs stare forward in fear.

Each chef gets $150 and they head out to Whole Foods. Everyone is running through the store like crazy, while douchey Mike takes some time to bash the rest of the contestants. First thing we see is one chef heading straight to the seafood counter to buy some scallops. Oh lord, I am so sick of seeing scallops on this show. In the words of Fabio, "It's Top CHEF not Top SCALLOP."

Another strange development is that Jen, a second tattoo-ed lady though much thinner than Jesse, has decided to make a poblano pepper stuffed with seitan, a wheat glutten that's made to taste like meat. Now, my ex-boyfriend was vegan and he loved seitan, but I still don't see how that's going to taste good.

The chefs purchase their ingredients and head back to the kitchen to cook. Everyone is scurrying everywhere and I can't keep the teams straight. All I know is that there are some strange dishes being made. Deep fried rib-eye, bacon doughnuts...one smart-ass is even doing an ode to Vegas by doing a "nice rack" of lamb will a sauce made from some "juicy coconuts."

Ha...ha...*insert awkward silence*

Also of note, the girls are not strong this year. Most of them don't seem to know what they're doing and when they do know what they're doing, it doesn't sound good (see bacon doughnuts and poblano pepper with seitan above).

The Blue team serves first. We have arrogant Mike, whose vice is his foul mouth, with an olive oil poached halibut, designed to look like the bar of soap that his mother used to wash out his mouth, along with some wood-roasted eggplant. Eli's vice is drinking and he has buttered scallops with beer powder. Ashley's vice is a love of red wine so she has a chicken liver ravioli with a red wine demi glace. Hector loves his disgusting cigars and has made a smoked rib-eye with carrot puree.

The judges like Eli's scallops and Mike's eggplant but detest Hector's deep-fried rib-eye, which has none of the smoke that he'd supposedly infused the dish with.

Next we have Bryan (quiet brother), who loves bourbon, with a NY strip steak, parsnip puree and bourbon reduction. French Mattin is stubborn and has cooked a buffalo rib-eye with madeira sauce. Jennifer loves alcohol (notice a trend yet?) and poached her halibut with whisky, bourbon and scotch. Jesse loves her whiskey and braised some chicken with a whiskey reduction.

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