Watch What We Say: Top Chef

Episode 5

By Jason Lee

December 12, 2008

I really thought the dishes were good.

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So it comes down as expected. The all-guy team of "old" and the all-girl team of "borrowed" are on the top. Again, as expected, Team borrowed win the challenge and it's up to Food and Wine editor, Dana Cowen, who's acting as guest judge this week, to announce the winner. Now, we know that Jaime wants to win this. She's been so close the last couple of weeks. She hasn't won anything yet. She even whispers to Ariane while standing before the judges that she really wants to win this.

"The winning chef cooked the most flavorful, delicious dish of the evening," Dana says. "That chef is . . ."

Everyone is looking at Jaime. Jaime is leaning forward in anticipation of hearing her name come out of Dana's mouth.

". . . Ariane."

Ariane is understandably shocked. "What, me?!?!" she exclaims. Jaime swings her head around in shock to stare at Ariane. I crow happily, glad to see my little underdog showing that she can cook, too. During her interview, Ariane expresses joy that she won another challenge but sadness as well because she knew how badly Jaime wanted to win this.

Jaime, later, consoles herself by telling us that every other chef thought she was gonna win. I'm sad for her but I know that she's got the talent to win a challenge very soon down the line.

But for now, it's time for the tough part. The bottom teams come out and they get to listen to the judges berate them. Carla had disgusting mushrooms at the bottom of her salad and should have spoken up when the team's dish started going astray. Daniel has a bad palate for thinking that his mushrooms tasted bad and that the dish was good. Eugene had a failed concept, bad rice and bad shrimp. And that's just the "new" team.




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The "blue" team gets just as bad comments from the judges. The dish was too simple. It was all mushy on the plate. There was nothing exciting about it.

The two teams head back to the stew room. Upon entry, Eugene promptly bends over and asks a fellow chef if he has two assholes because the judges ripped him a new one. I don't blame him.

The judges meanwhile ruminate on the fate of their chefs. As you can imagine, someone from the "new" team is going home. Tom really has a problem with Daniel thinking that their dish was any good. Gail thinks that it was admirable (and I do too) that Carla avoided saying what she really thought about her teammates and their dish to preserve her integrity. Tom disagrees and said that she should have spoken up. Dana slams Eugene for thinking that he could fix bad rice.

I'm thinking at this point that Daniel should prepare to leave. Typically at this point in the season, the judges send home the person that deserves to be in the competition the least. Making simple mistakes, being ignorant of culinary protocols, not recognizing when something's wrong . . . they're all ways that the judges can tell when a chef is really out of their league on Top Chef and I think this time, they'll decide that Daniel is that chef this year.

The "new" team comes back out and they each get their heads handed to them on a plate. Carla should voiced her opinion and saved the dish during the conceptual phase. Eugene bad some really had decisions both in the composition and in the execution of the dish. Daniel simply had no clue that anything on the plate was bad – a travesty when the entire plate was bad. To sum it all up, Tom announces that he'd really like to send them all home. Ouch again.

Yep, it's Daniel. Our good ole Long Island chef is going home. He's brisk and seemingly nonchalant as he bids his chefs goodbye but we know that he's really hurting. During his final interview, he says that he believes the judges made the wrong decision and I can't really blame him. If he'd played his cards right during Judges Table, Eugene probably would have been the chef sent home. But hindsight is all 20/20. Daniel is gone and Eugene lives to make sushi again another day.

BOP is doing a link exchange with our good friends at Buddy TV this season. For more Top Chef info, visit their site.


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