Monday Morning Quarterback Part II

By BOP Staff

October 7, 2008

There's not enough beer in the world to be a Cubs fan.

New at BOP:
Share & Save
Digg Button  
Print this column

Let's talk about Blindnezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Kim Hollis: Blindness earned $2 million and had a per location average of $1,185. Say something funny about Blindness -- the movie, not the physical disability. That would be wrong.

David Mumpower: Everyone should keep in mind that North America is only a small part of the pie for this release. Miramax is only on the hook for $5 million here. They won't make a profit, but the result is far from disastrous. I don't have anything funny to say about the movie, but I do wonder which of Mark Ruffalo, Julianne Moore or Gael GarcĂ­a Bernal is the worst box office draw of the cast. All that was needed was Dane Cook to complete the effect of "worst. cast. ever." in terms of box office appeal.

Tim Briody: David, you forgot Greg Kinnear in that list, as we also witnessed this week.

Kim Hollis: It wasn't that long ago that Julianne Moore had a few good openings, though. I think when the studio realized that this was a stinker, they just gave up on it and didn't even try. I think it's a shame that the apparent awesomeness of the book couldn't be captured here.

Sean Collier: Honestly, I think the trailer convinced me not to see it. If you had pitched it to me - dystopia horror in the Children of Men vein, directed by Fernando Meirelles, Julianne Moore and Gael Garcia Bernal - I probably would've bought a ticket. I'm pretty sure the voice-over on the preview read, "In a world where everyone's blind, except some people, the blind are herded into a camp. Or a hospital. Something like that. Anyway, one woman will pretend she can't see for a while, then reveal it dramatically...sorry to spoil that one for you...anyway, with this advantage, she'll...umm...wait, what's this movie about again?"

Scott Lumley: I really didn't see this movie having a big opening. I feel the producers lacked vision. I imagine when the numbers came in on Sunday, it wasn't exactly a sight for sore eyes.

(Pause...)

Chihuahua?

David Mumpower: Enjoy your acid bath. I hope you know a good skin grafter.




Advertisement

Why, Simon, why?

Kim Hollis: And finally, How to Lose Friends and Alienate people earned $1.4 million and had a nightmarish per venue average of $801. Why was this such a disastrous project?

Reagen Sulewski: It's like a how to for making a failed project. Step 1: Create an unlikable protagonist, or buy the story of one. Step 2: Make an insider story about Hollywood. Step 3: Cast an actor few people really know (sorry Simon Pegg fans, but it's true, and I count myself as one of you). Step 4: Give it an unwieldy title. Step 5: Give it a halfhearted release. Step 6: Prepare your resume, leaving out any mention of the previous 5 steps.

Max Braden: It's frustrating after Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz that Simon Pegg's been veering toward more buffoonery than sharp comedy. I think that came through in the trailer and audiences didn't go for it. I guess you need to cast Dane Cook to sell these kinds of comedies.

Kim Hollis: Much as I love Simon Pegg, the commercials for this looked dreadful. It's obvious the studio wasn't willing to throw any support behind it, and they'll just use this theatrical release as an extended commercial for the DVD.

David Mumpower: If only Megan Fox could have made more outlandishly salacious sexual boasts in the weeks leading up to the movie's release. Maybe that would have made a difference.

Sean Collier: Megan Fox could stand naked in front of Grauman's Chinese Theater yelling, "HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE! HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE!" and when passers-by described it to others later, they'd say, "Yeah, she was totally naked. I think she was yelling something - can't remember what, though. Something about boobs."

Scott Lumley: Has anyone seen the trailer? Especially the one where Pegg is in the elevator choking on something and he spits it out onto a womans shoulder standing directly in front of them? What marketing genius thought that inciting nausea on a TV commercial would be a good way to put butts in seats? Seriously, any urge I had to see this film (and I really like Pegg...) vanished the moment they did that.


Continued:       1       2

     


 
 

Need to contact us? E-mail a Box Office Prophet.
Thursday, March 28, 2024
© 2024 Box Office Prophets, a division of One Of Us, Inc.