Trailer Hitch

By Eric Hughes

July 16, 2008

There's no way this can be as awful as it looks, right? RIGHT???

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Disaster Movie – Opens August 29th

Emulating a good journalist, I try my best to be as objective and impartial as possible. Now, those familiar with my recent work perhaps know I don't take kindly to new projects from the Scary Movie people, and only for them do I blatantly disregard the notion of "good journalist" and openly state that I hate their work and find it incredibly immature, time and time again. Funnily enough, I ask that you disregard this bias when I tell you, here and now, that the trailer to Disaster Movie is far and away the worst movie trailer I have ever come across. Ever. Forget anything Nic Cage starred in or Uwe Boll directed. This thing is just plain awful, and packed with nothing but cheap knock-offs of many beloved big screen characters for the sake of ripping them off (let alone mashing them all together for seemingly no apparent reason, because here the jokes stick just about as much as Britney Spears to that guy she eloped with and married for all but 48 hours). Words to the wise: stay far away. They aren't calling this one Disaster Movie for nothing.

Grade: F
Also expected to be released on this date: Babylon A.D., College, Hamlet 2, Sukiyaki Western Django, Ballast

Miracle at St. Anna – Opens September 26th

Controversy has swarmed the upcoming release of Miracle at St. Anna, namely recent cheap shots between the project's director Spike Lee and Clint Eastwood, and more importantly an uproar late last year when survivors of an atrocity in Tuscany, Italy during World War II made their intentions known to ban the film for "a false reconstruction that does not take account of the historical reality." The reality, of course, would be the story of four African-American Buffalo Soldiers who find themselves trapped behind enemy lines in a tiny Tuscan village after a member of the group risks his life to save another (in this case, an Italian boy). Controversial or not, Spike Lee's latest looks both profound and inspirational, where even during war time boundaries between friends and foes can be erased. The film is based on a 2003 novel by James McBride, who here penned the screenplay.

Grade: B
Also expected to be released on this date: Eagle Eye, Nights in Rodanthe, The Lucky Ones, Choke, Humboldt County




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Quantum of Solace – Opens November 7th

For the first time ever, I won't hit theaters in November to merely catch the latest James Bond film. Admittedly, I will go because I really want to be there, thanks in part to a phenomenal franchise reboot in 2006's Casino Royale (with new Bond Daniel Craig) and a sexy new trailer that hit the Web earlier this week. Taking place just hours after the conclusion of Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace – I'm still not sold on the title – marks the first true sequel in the franchise's 46-year theatrical history. In it, Bond goes after Mr. White (Jesper Christensen) and his ruthless, undercover organization called Quantum, which has plans to take over Bolivia's national water supply. Bond also seeks retribution for the death of Vesper Lynd (Eva Green). Quantum of Solace's trailer makes the new flick appear just as edgy and kick ass as its 2006 predecessor, complete with expected jaw-dropping stunt work and, of course, shots of Craig's shirtless, chiseled chest. Bond will absolutely own the box office up until Harry Potter's bow two weeks later.

Grade: A
Also expected to be released on this date: Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa, Slumdog Millionaire


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