How to Spend $20
By David Mumpower
June 5, 2007
For Paris Hilton: CHiPs: The Complete First Season (6-DVD Set)
In 1977, Erik Estrada was one of the most popular actors in the world. Thirty years later, he's still one of the most popular punchlines ever, joining other such television luminaries as Mr. T, Richard Grieco and the dead midget from Fantasy Island. Of course, it could be worse. He could be the blond motorcycle cop from the show whose name no one remembers, even Mrs. Larry Wilcox. CHiPs does have some cultural significance in that it was one of the first shows to showcase a Latin heartthrob, simultaneously guaranteeing Estrada frequent work on Mexican soap operas. How he hasn't leveraged this popularity into a hosting gig on Sabado Gigante, I have no idea. Maybe if he got a boob job?
For Joe Torre in 3...2...1...: Fired
This is one of my favorite movie ideas in recent memory. An actress named Annabelle Gurwitch was fired by Woody Allen, which is roughly similar to a priest being personally fired by God. In order to cope with her emotional devastation, she embarked upon a documentary interview process through which she proved she was not alone. The end result is that celebrities such as Harry Shearer, Sarah Silverman, Tim Allen, David Cross, Fred Willard, Andy Dick and Tate Donovan are coaxed into describing their most memorable terminations. Dick's story alone should be justification for at least a rental of this. I'm going to be so disappointed if his story doesn't at least involve goats, an ax and a Cirque Du Soleil troupe.
Also for Joe Torre in 3...2...1...: The Fall Guy: The Complete First Season (6-DVD Set)
What can I say? I'm a closet Red Sox fan. At least I was before everyone and their mother on the East coast decided they were around game 6 of 2004's ALCS. In addition, I am also a not-so-closeted fan of Lee Majors. Seriously, I loved him as a boy and my Six Million Dollar Man stunt car was my favorite toy as a child. The first comedic sound effect I remember making was the bionic sound effect from the show. When Lee Majors married Farrah Fawcett, I realized that even as a small boy, my dream in life was to be Lee Majors. I never quite grew out of this and was forcibly reminded of it when Majors was a guest star on Jake 2.0 a few years ago.
In the interim, there was The Fall Guy, a mediocre but generally enjoyable television show about a stunt man who managed to solve mysteries and fight crime in his spare time while working as a bounty hunter. Sure, it was run-of-the-mill 1980s television and I would argue that each episode peaked with the theme song ("I'm the unknown stuntman who makes Eastwood look so fine.")...unless Heather Thomas was in a bikini that week, which happened a statistically improbable amount for a bounty hunter. The Fall Guy lasted over 100 episodes using the same basic formula: Lee Majors is charismatic, gets beaten up, feels humbled, then plots and attains revenge. It's hardly novel television but I have watched re-runs within the past few years and it holds up better than I had expected, mainly due to Majors' personality.
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