TiVoPlex
By John Seal
January 23, 2007
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 01/23/07
4:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
The Guilty Generation (1931 USA): Boris Karloff fans will want to make time for The Guilty Generation, a very rarely seen Columbia melodrama about ‘John Smith', an architect and fully assimilated Italian-American (Robert Young) whose gangster father Tony Ricca (Karloff) is engaged in a Prohibition-era turf war with the father of John's amour Maria (Constance Cummings). Maria's been educated in a French convent, but can't shake off the disrepute she's inherited from Dad (Leo Carrillo). The young lovers are determined to make a go of their relationship - but will the long-running dispute between the two families allow them to set up house together, or is blood truly thicker than firewater? Karloff's role is actually a rather small one, and his precise diction at odds with the unvarnished roughness of his character, but fans of ‘The Uncanny One' will definitely want to acquaint themselves with this film. Monster buffs should also note the behind camera presence of director Rowland V. Lee, who worked with Karloff again in 1939 on both Son of Frankenstein and Tower of London. The Guilty Generation is followed at 5:45 AM by another Karloff gangster pic, The Criminal Code (1931), this one directed by Howard Hawks.
10:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
Meet Boston Blackie (1941 USA): In retrospect, it's hard to understand why Chester Morris never became a full fledged star. A talented actor with chiselled if slightly unusual good looks that served him well in ‘almost A-list' vehicles such as 1939's Five Came Back, Morris became typecast thanks to his greatest success: the Boston Blackie series, which kept him employed through a dozen bottom of the bill mysteries as well as a radio show for most of the 1940s. Meet Boston Blackie was the first in the popular series, with Morris cast as a wisecracking PI (and reformed safecracker) always one step ahead of the police. The action comes fast and furious, commencing with murder aboard an ocean liner followed by a trip to a Coney Island freak-show, and the dialogue is suitably hardboiled. Blackie even gets to meet the pinhead star of Tod Browning's Freaks, the unforgettable Schlitze, who puts in an uncredited appearance here as carnival attraction Princess Betsy. It's followed at 11:45 AM by Confessions of Boston Blackie (1941), helmed by Edward Dmytryk and entangling Blackie in art forgeries and more murder, at 1:00 PM by Alias Boston Blackie (1942), wherein our hero tracks down an escaped convict, and at 2:15 PM by Boston Blackie Goes Hollywood (1942), in which Blackie is framed for the theft of the world famous Monterey Diamond.
6:30 PM Sundance
Dear Wendy (2005 DEN): This Thomas Vinterberg (Festen) feature flew in and out of American art-houses in about a week last year after a flurry of less than commendatory reviews. I remember being impressed by its trailer, but didn't manage to get to my local Landmark before the film was hastily returned to US distributor Wellspring. Vilified by Ebert and others as a facile examination of American gun culture and teen life, Dear Wendy features Jamie Bell (Billy Elliot) as the leader of a rural gang called The Dandies, who fancy themselves pacifists who also pack heat. Written by Lars Von Trier, directed by the supremely talented Vinterberg, and shot by the great Anthony Dod Mantle, Dear Wendy is back on the radar - bad reviews be damned!
Wednesday 01/24/07
6:30 PM Encore Wam!
Meatballs 4 (1992 USA): I rarely recommend anything on the Wam! Channel, which, according to its PR blurb, is ‘a cool place for teens to see movies and entertainment just for them'. Color me surprised, then, to see the channel airing this R rated sequel to 1979's Ivan Reitman comedy Meatballs. The first Meatballs was fairly innocuous stuff, but by 1986's Meatballs III: Summer Job, the sex quotient was trumping the sophomoric humor, and the trend continued with number 4, which was actually originally intended as a stand-alone feature entitled Happy Campers. Long story short: star Jack Nance aside, the movie stinks, no matter what you call it - but now I can cash that big payola check Wam! sent me. Hey, it's a super cool place to hang out, dudes!
7:00 PM Starz In Black
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005 GB): Airing on Starz In Black due to the presence of erstwhile hip-hopper Mos Def in the cast, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was a huge smash at the box-office, rendering it questionable for inclusion in the Tivoplex. It's here because it's making its widescreen television debut this evening, and because Bill Nighy is one of the funniest men on the planet. As for Mos Def, he should mos' definitely stick to dramatic roles in future.
11:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
The Big Carnival (1951 USA): Remember the episode of The Simpsons where Bart pretends to be little Timmy O'Toole, stuck at the bottom of a well? Billy Wilder's The Big Carnival (also known as Ace in the Hole) was a source of inspiration for that episode, which also drew on the real life adventures of the legendary Baby Jessica, who tumbled down a Midland, Texas well back in 1986. The film stars Kirk Douglas as Chuck Tatum, an unscrupulous reporter who lucks into a big story - Man Trapped In Collapsed Mine - and does his best to parlay the tragedy into a national attraction and a bigger by-line for himself. Working in cahoots with an equally ambitious local sheriff (Ray Teal), Tatum manages to keep the victim (Richard Benedict) down under long enough to whip up the kind of sensationalistic fervor that well-educated modern day reporters would never succumb to - unless, of course, it was a missing white woman in the mineshaft, or perhaps a cancer stricken child's puppy. Derided at the time for its unbridled cynicism, The Big Carnival looks pretty tame compared to some of the journalistic shenanigans we're now exposed to every day.
Thursday 01/25/07
3:15 AM IFC
The Emperor and the Assassin (1999 CHI): Beautiful Gong Li stars in this Chen Kaige costume drama about imperial machinations during the 3rd Century BCE. Li plays Lady Zhao, the concubine of the Emperor (Li Xuejian), sent by her master on a mission to employ an assassin to help him unite the Six Kingdoms under his autocratic thumb. Zhao finds her man (Fengyi Zhang), but ends up falling for him - and finding herself deeply troubled by the cruel excesses of her lord and master. In turns extremely violent, stunningly gorgeous, and unfathomably complex, The Emperor and the Assassin is a lengthy (two and a half hour) historical dissertation rendered watchable for mainstream viewers by the presence of Li, whose recent turn in Zhang Yimou's Curse of the Golden Flower was equally riveting. Also airs at 10:40 AM.
8:40 AM IFC
The Great Silence (1968 ITA): Perhaps the greatest spaghetti western not to have the name ‘Sergio Leone' attached to it, The Great Silence makes its American television debut this morning. Starring Klaus Kinski as Loco, a crazed bounty killer with no moral compass, and Jean-Louis Trintignant as Silence, a mute gun for hire who prefers to offer his services to the weak and helpless, The Great Silence takes place during a harsh Utah winter, immediately setting the film apart from its dust and sand-encrusted genre compadres. The two meet aboard a stagecoach bound for the aptly named Snow Hill, a Mormon town offering business opportunities for both of them - but along for the ride is Sheriff Burnett (American émigré Frank Wolff), a straight arrow lawman determined to stamp out bounty hunting all together. Very much in the tradition of ‘political' westerns such as Sergio Sollima's The Big Gundown and the films of Damiano Damiani, The Great Silence never had an American theatrical release, and - unless you had previously invested in a pricey Japanese laserdisc - was virtually impossible to see until its 2004 Fantoma DVD release. For anyone interested in westerns - of any style - or of European cinema in general, it's a must see.
1:35 PM Showtime Action
Amazing Stories V (1992 USA): Four more episodes of Steven Spielberg's Amazing Stories TV series are packaged in this anthology initially aimed at the home video market, and as with most anthologies, it's a mixed bag. Included are The Sitter, a thoroughly predictable and borderline racist tale of a Jamaican woman who controls her charges (including a very young Seth Green!) with voodoo; Grandpa's Ghost, a genuinely moving mood piece featuring Ian Wolfe and Andrew McCarthy and directed by Timothy Hutton; the impossibly saccharine hospital weepie Dorothy and Ben, rendered tolerable by a fine performance from Crossroads' Joe Seneca; and the amusing Paul Bartel vehicle Gershwin's Trunk, featuring Bob Balaban as a Broadway songwriter relying on some beyond-the-grave help in order to complete his latest project. Half the fun of these things is watching for the guest stars and hoping the stories aren't completely insipid - and half the time, this collection gets things right.
Friday 01/26/07
6:30 PM Sundance
The Motel (2005 USA): The awkward years of tweeny adolescence are explored by writer-director Michael Kang in this indie feature which took home the Humanitas Prize at Sundance 2005. Jeffrey Chyau stars as 13-year-old Ernest, a pudgy boy weary of helping his mother run her seedy motor lodge by night and tired of being bullied at school by day. Enter stage right Sam (Sung Kang), an ostensible but unlikely Big Brother for the fatherless Ernest, and a font of questionable wisdom regarding the rites of passage and the meaning of manhood. Leaked into art-houses only last October, The Motel is a first-rate indie character study that will revive uncomfortable pubescent memories for many viewers, particularly male ones.
9:00 PM IFC
This Night I Will Possess Your Corpse (1967 BRA): The second entry in the Coffin Joe series— - or some reason being shown out of sequence this evening after last week's Awakening of the Beast - This Night I Will Possess Your Corpse is a sequel of sorts to the first film, At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul. Cleared of the heinous crimes committed during At Midnight, Joe is now free to resume his search for the perfect spouse - and is once again willing to go to the most extreme lengths to find the right woman. Complications, including more tarantulas, a boa constrictor, and a hunchback, ensue. Also airs 1/27 at midnight.
9:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
To Paris, With Love (1955 GB): Alec Guinness stars in this little known British comedy about a wealthy widower (Guinness) who takes his 20-year old-son (Vernon Grey) to Paris for lessons in the art of love. Why they couldn't just go to King's Cross for a snog I can't imagine, and it's hard to envision Guinness as being an expert in the amorous arts - rendering this a relative disappointment in Obi Wan Kenobi's otherwise impressive filmography.
11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Billy the Kid Versus Dracula (1966 USA): Delirious title aside, this is actually one of the most boring horror films ever made - and that's saying quite a bit. Directed by the legendary William ‘One-Shot' Beaudine, Billy the Kid Versus Dracula is a nearly unwatchable blend of bloodless horror and very old-fashioned western tropes starring John Carradine as the bloodsucking count. He's trying to start afresh in the Old West, but hasn't counted on the presence of young William Bonney (Chuck Courtney), who inexplicably has settled down with the rich femme landowner (Melinda Plowman) ticketed by Dracula as his next victim. Also on hand is Mrs. Olsen herself, Virginia Christine, as an Old World refugee wise to the ways of the vampire. It's followed at 12:30 AM the following morning by the equally inept Jesse James vs. Frankenstein's Daughter (1966 USA), which repeats the formula with different characters and heralded the end of Beaudine's long and once illustrious career. Both films have been unseen on national television since appearing a decade ago on TNT's 100% Weird, and Dracula still isn't on DVD - so cinema masochists, set your timers!
Saturday 01/27/07
10:15 PM Sundance
Down to the Bone (2004 USA): Vera Farmiga, recently seen to reasonable effect in Martin Scorsese's The Departed, stars in this gruelling drug addiction drama about a bored housewife trying to balance homemaking and childcare with hardcore cocaine abuse. After cashing one of her kid's birthday checks and turning it into nose candy, she decides she's reached the end of the line and checks herself into rehab, where a new love and a new career as a housecleaner await her. Written and directed by Debra Granik, Down to the Bone is strong stuff and never had a chance at the box office. Happily, however, critics recognised the quality of Farmiga's performance, and she won the Best Actress Award from the Los Angeles Film Critics' Association in 2005 - the same year Reese Witherspoon took home the equivalent Academy Award for Walk the Line.
Sunday 01/28/07
5:00 AM The Movie Channel
Yellowbeard (1983 GB): It's not terribly funny, but this pirate comedy from ex-Python Graham Chapman and a past his prime Peter Cook features a cast to die for, including (besides Chapman and Cook) Peter Boyle (who gets all the best lines, such as they are), Marty Feldman, Cheech and Chong, Michael Hordern, James Mason, Madeleine Kahn, John Cleese, Kenneth Mars, Spike Milligan, Nigel Planer (you know, Neil from The Young Ones), Susannah York, Beryl Reid, Peter Bull, and Bernard Fox. If you can overlook the fact that the laughs are few, far between, and rather labored, you may still enjoy Yellowbeard, which airs in widescreen this morning and again at 8:00 AM.
5:15 PM Turner Classic Movies
Dragnet (1954 USA): The face that launched a thousand frowns, Jack Webb, also launched his immortal Joe Friday character to the big screen via this police procedural about the investigation of a gangland slaying. The original 1951 TV series had already established a formula encompassing Friday's laconic just the facts ma'am attitude, the underlying message that criminals are a bunch of irredeemable scumbags, and constant reminders that the police are a very thin blue line indeed, and those characteristics are in abundance throughout this feature. The film does, however, eschew the black and white noir influences evident in the early television episodes, an unfortunate decision that presaged the series' 1966 return to the small screen In Living Color on NBC (oh, how I miss the peacock). If you're a fan of Webb's poker face, though, you won't want to miss Dragnet, which also features Richard Boone, Dennis Weaver, and Virginia Christine in its cast.
Monday 01/29/07
3:00 AM Turner Classic Movies
Bop Girl Goes Calypso (1957 USA): A morning of obscure rock and roll exploitation flicks kicks off with Bop Girl Goes Calypso, a film that hopefully suggested that rock is passé and calypso is the Next Big Thing down Jamaica way. The film features Bobby Troup as Robert Hilton, a psychology student working to complete his thesis, ‘Mass Hysteria and the Popular Singer', and Lucien Littlefield as his academic mentor. Robert scientifically measures nightclub applause, and has made a vital discovery: applause at rock shows has gone down, whilst applause at calypso shows in on the upswing! Produced on the cheap to tie in with a very short-lived boom in Caribbean music - which saw even Robert Mitchum recording a calypso-themed LP - Bop Girl Goes Calypso is an unintentionally hilarious adult fantasy about the ‘passing fad' of rock, but at least has the good taste to feature a performance by Lord Flea, one of the foremost practitioners of mento, the Jamaican style that anticipated ska, rocksteady, and reggae. It's followed at 4:30 AM by 1956's Rock Around the Clock, a vehicle built around the popularity of Bill Haley and the Comets; at 6:00 AM by 1961's Twist Around the Clock, which reheats the formula with Chubby Checker and Dion sitting in for Bill and his boys; at 7:30 AM by 1956's Alan Freed vehicle Don't Knock the Rock, featuring Haley, Little Richard, and the marvelous Treniers; at 10:30 AM by 1959's very rare Juke Box Rhythm, starring Johnny Otis, Brian Donlevy, and (gulp) Jack Jones; at noon by 1958's equally unhip Julius LaRosa musical comedy Let's Rock, and at 1:30 PM by Richard Lester's extremely hip and very amusing trad jazz tribute, Ring A Ding Rhythm (1962).
5:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
The Show (1927 USA): The highlight of the week arrives at the end of the week - well, the end of the TiVoPlex week, that is. This is the world television premiere of a quite rare Tod Browning feature which has been on my ‘must see' list for many years. Unlike most of Browning's MGM output, The Show doesn't star Lon Chaney, but features in his place John Gilbert - then at the peak of his popularity - as Cock Robin, an Austrian carny who manages the Palace of Illusions, where physical grotesqueries are the draw that brings in the suckers. Where can I buy a ticket? Also airs at 10:00 PM.