TiVoPlex
By John Seal
May 15, 2006
BoxOfficeProphets.com

When I was fantasizing about this, I first used this hand and then this one.

From the obscure to the obscurest to the merely overlooked or underappreciated; they all have a home in the TiVoPlex! All times Pacific.

Tuesday 05/16/06

2:30 AM Sundance
The Boy Who Plays On the Buddhas of Bamiyan (2004 GB): If you're like me, you first became aware of Afghanistan's bizarre Taliban regime in early 2001, when they threatened to destroy the remarkable Buddhas of Bamiyan, a pair of massive, 1600-year old statues carved from the cave walls of the ancient eponymous Silk Road stopover. Considered heretical by the arch-fundamentalist Talibs, the Buddhas — one of which was taller than the Statue of Liberty — were eventually levelled despite an international outcry. Now their rubble serves as crude shelter for local farmers, and this haunting independent documentary takes a look at the aftermath. Though always conscious of the social and political calamities that have reduced Afghanistan to grinding poverty, director Phil Grabsky does not offer a screed and keeps things up close and personal, as his film concentrates on a year in the life of eight-year old Mir and his family, who make a living by scavenging cattle guts and survive on a diet of grass. The film won the Best Documentary prize at 2004's Valladolid International Film Festival. Also airs 5/21 at 7:15 AM.

9:00 PM More Max
Les Miserables (1995 FRA): You know the story: poor old Jean Valjean steals a loaf of bread, and Inspector Javert goes to the ends of the Earth to put him away for it. If you didn't read Victor Hugo's novel in high school, chances are you've seen the Andrew Lloyd-Webber farce on stage or even remember the 1935 film version starring Charles Laughton. Unless you're from the Continent, however, you probably haven't seen this revisionist effort from director Claude Lelouch. It stars Jean-Paul Belmondo as Henri Fortin, a poverty-stricken, World War II-era boxer and Hugo admirer whose life seems to parallel that of the beknighted Valjean. Literary purists may be disturbed by the liberties taken by Lelouch, but his film stays true to the spirit of Hugo's story of human venality and imperfection. Running to a hefty three hours, Les Miserables expects some commitment from viewers, but is well worth the effort if you're a fan of the novel or simply an admirer of the wonderful Belmondo. Caveat: best seen in widescreen, Les Miserables appears to be airing this evening in pan and scan.

Wednesday 05/17/06

6:00 PM IFC
Below (2002 USA): It's only an average horror flick at best, but the submarine-set Below makes its widescreen television debut this evening, thus earning itself a spot in the ‘Plex. Set aboard the USS Tiger Shark as it attempts to complete an Atlantic mission, the film posits supernatural intervention, which — along with the advent of a female nurse (Olivia Williams) in a life raft — makes life harder than ever for the crew, who have already lost their captain to a freak accident. Co-written by Pi-man Darren Aronofsky, Below is an efficient if not always successful spook show for fear fans who prefer atmosphere to blood and guts. Also airs at 10:00 PM.

Thursday 05/18/06

1:30 AM Sundance
Stan the Flasher (1991 FRA): The final film effort from singer, actor, and all-around bad boy Serge Gainsbourg, Stan the Flasher makes its American television premiere this morning. Claude Berri stars as Stan Goldberg, a schoolteacher who has the hots for one of his underage pupils and finds himself in hot water as a result. Stan Goldberg...Serge Gainsbourg...surely it's only a coincidence that they share the same initials? This autobiographical effort from the hyper-masculine Gainsbourg struck a chord in France, where the film was a critical and popular success, but until now it's never had any wide exposure in the United States. Fans of the perpetually soused singer will definitely want to take a look. Also airs 5/21 at 1:45 AM.

10:45 AM Showtime 2
little man (2005 USA): Those lower case letters in the title are not a typo. This Showtime original documentary about a ‘micro-preemie' — a baby born months ahead of schedule and stricken with health problems — is a gruelling, fascinating, weepy, and downright manipulative look at the lengths modern medicine will allow us to go in order to preserve life. Director Nicole Conn is also the mother of the film's subject, Nicholas, and her original idea was to make a film about surrogate motherhood. Little did she know what she was getting herself into, as Nicky arrived in the world after a truncated gestation period of five and a half months. Keep the Kleenex handy.

1:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
The Big Shakedown (1934 USA): You won't know where the yellow went when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent! This unique post-Prohibition feature stars Ricardo Cortez and Charles Farrell as two-bit schemers looking to make a killing by flooding the market with bootleg toothpaste. Murder, miscarriage, and gingivitis soon follow, leaving Bette Davis in charge of the neighbourhood convenience store and Cortez behind bars. Also featuring Allen Jenkins and Glenda Farrell in full-on moll mode, The Big Shakedown is a toothsome treat that will send you scurrying to the dentist for a deep cleaning.

11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Lost Boundaries (1949 USA): This excellent independent feature returns to TCM this evening after a lengthy absence. Based on a true story, the film features Mel Ferrer as Scott Carter, a light-skinned African American doctor who reluctantly decides to pass for white in a small New Hampshire town after being rejected from a position at a black southern hospital. Things go well for Carter until, on the eve of war, his attempt to gain a Naval commission is denied thanks to the racial skeleton in his closet. Refreshingly frank, surprisingly bold, and acted with great sensitivity, Lost Boundaries was honoured with the Best Screenplay award at Cannes 1949. It's not available on home video, so catch it tonight or be prepared to wait another two or three years for the next opportunity.

Friday 05/19/06

8:35 AM Sundance
Theo and Thea (and the Seven Dwarves) (1989 HOL): This wacky Dutch comedy features Arjan Ederveen and Tosca Niterink as the title characters, a pair of buck toothed goofballs who enjoy a series of strange episodic adventures. Based on a cult children's TV show that reputedly offered viewers advice on a wide range of off-color topics, Theo and Thea (and the Seven Dwarves) was the twosome's only big screen venture, and revolves around their efforts to film their own unique version of Snow White. If Pee-Wee Herman were the little Dutch boy who stuck his finger in the dike, he might have made a film as indescribably bizarre as this one. Give it a look — I dare you.

5:00 PM Starz In Black
New Orleans Music In Exile (2006 USA): Hurricane Katrina did more than shatter George W. Bush's air of invincibility, disrupt Michael Brown's dining and hair care routine, and destroy one of America's most colorful towns: it also devastated the rich and deep-rooted musical community of the Crescent City. Fats Domino went missing, Aaron Neville spent time on his rooftop, and Clarence ‘Gatemouth' Brown fled to Texas and subsequently died of heart failure. This Starz original, directed by the reliable Robert Mugge (Last of the Mississippi Jukes) and premiering this evening, focuses on how Katrina affected a number of New Orleans musicians and features a generous helping of performances, too. Amongst the featured artists are Irma Thomas, Dr. John, Eddie Bo, and many more. Also airs 5/20 at 5:00 PM and 5/21 at 3:30 AM and 11:35 AM.

10:10 PM IFC
Intacto (2002 ESP): This quite splendid and very unusual Spanish thriller features Leonardo Sparaglia as Tomas, a criminal whose getaway is spoiled by a plane crash that leaves him the sole survivor. Whilst recovering from his injuries and counting the days until he's fit enough to move into a jail cell, he's visited by Federico (Eusebio Poncela), a broker of sorts who deals in the most elusive commodity of them all: luck. Federico believes he can leverage Tomas' good luck into a fortune, and after helping him escape from hospital introduces him to an underground gambling game that can be both extremely lucrative and extremely dangerous. Amongst the other players is the white-suited Holocaust survivor Samuel (Max Von Sydow, commanding as always), who likes to play Russian roulette, and undercover police detective Sara ((Monica Lopez), who's trying to play the game in order to get Tomas back in custody. It all adds up to a very satisfying and assured first feature for director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo, whose name is now attached to Danny Boyle's zombie sequel 28 Weeks Later. Intacto had some pan and scan play dates a couple of years ago, but IFC is airing it in widescreen, which is by far the best way to appreciate this intricately plotted puzzle piece.

Saturday 05/20/06

9:15 PM Showtime Extreme
Gozu (2003 JAP): Another madcap effort from director Takashi Miike, Gozu was originally made for Japanese television but ended up on the festival circuit, even putting in an appearance at Cannes. If you're familiar with Miike's work — and if you've been a TiVoPlex regular for a while, you probably are — you already know that he's cinema's gross-out king, and he does little to disappoint his fans here. The story revolves around fledgling yakuza Minami (Hideki Sone) who's been assigned to dispose of an older colleague (Sho Aikawa). When fate intervenes and does the job for him, Minami thinks he's off the hook — but the corpse promptly disappears, and he's left without any proof to offer his superiors. The frantic search that follows finds our hero meeting cross-dressing waiters, lactating innkeepers, and the last word in castrating bitches. It's not for all tastes, but you knew that already.

Sunday 05/21/06

5:00 PM HBO
Baghdad E.R. (2006 USA): I haven't seen it yet, but the advance word regarding this HBO original documentary is very promising. Filmed over a two-month period on location with the 86th Combat Support Hospital, filmmakers Jon Alpert and Matthew O'Neill were granted unprecedented access to the operating theatre, where doctors and nurses work tirelessly to bring back grievously wounded soldiers from the brink of death. Sounds like more anti-war propaganda from the liberal media to me. Also airs at 8:00 PM and on 5/22 at 1:50 AM and 4:50 AM.

5:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Beyond the Rocks (1922 USA): An extremely enticing selection of Rudolph Valentino features kicks off tonight with this vehicle about a young nobleman who engages in an ill-advised love affair with the wife of an aging millionaire. Gloria Swanson plays Theodora, whose mountaintop rescue by Lord Bracondale (Valentino) turns into romance, and Robert Bolder plays her husband, who sacrifices everything he has for the happiness of his beloved spouse. This Paramount melodrama was considered lost for decades, but was recovered a few years back in a Dutch film archive, and now makes its American television debut this evening. It's followed at 6:45 PM by 1922's Moran of the Lady Letty, featuring Rudy as a brave young man fighting to save a homely ingénue from a fate worse than death, at 8:00 PM by The Young Rajah (also 1922), with the smouldering one as an all-American Ivy Leaguer who discovers he's actually an Indian potentate, at 9:00 PM by 1919's The Delicious Little Devil, another once thought lost feature about a star-crossed roadhouse romance, and at 10:15 PM by 1920's Stolen Moments, featuring Rudy as a South American novelist mixed up in murder. These are all extremely rare features, and should be considered essential viewing for anyone interested in silent cinema.

9:00 PM Sundance
Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance (2002 ROK): Another example of extreme cinema from South Korea, Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance also includes a healthy dose of pathos to please the palates of more refined viewers. Firmly rooted in the realities of contemporary Korean economic malaise, Chan-Wook Park's feature focuses on a factory worker (Shin Ha-Kyun) who'll go to any lengths to get a healthy kidney for his ailing sister. And we do mean any lengths. Not for the faint of heart of the queasy of stomach, Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance won the Jury Award at the 2003 Philadelphia Film Festival.

Monday 05/22/06

8:30 PM Flix
The Wild Party (1975 USA): I made note of this feature a few weeks ago, but hadn't actually seen it in over 20 years. Now that I've had the opportunity to refresh my memory, I'm willing to cut The Wild Party a bit more slack than I did originally. It's an interesting and ambitious feature that has much to recommend it - and a fair number of strikes against it, too. On the credit side, James Coco is outstanding in the lead role of Jolly Grimm, an aging screen comic desperate to make a comeback. He's ably supported by David Dukes as his straight arrow screen collaborator and especially by Royal Dano as his lanky and loyal personal assistant. The story is simple but interesting, with Grimm throwing a big bash that provides an opportunity for him to screen his latest effort, Brother Jasper, and serves as a reminder to producers that he's still a Hollywood player. The silent film footage of Brother Jasper is expertly mounted and would pass as authentic to anyone who didn't know better, and there's an eerily effective and almost otherworldly performance by the unheralded Annette Ferra as an ambitious young dancer. And now for the not so good news: despite a praiseworthy attempt to drape the production in Roaring '20s ambiance, a few too many 1970s anachronisms - clothing wise and hairstyle wise - creep distractingly into the background, the original songs are generally mediocre, and the sensational sex scenes are gratuitous at best. The result is a somewhat schizophrenic production that uneasily tries to balance a serious story with five minutes of over the top group grope scenes which will offend some and disappoint others. There's enough here to render these scenes superfluous, but even with their inclusion the film remains a fine character study that will hold the attention of those interested in the history - apocryphal or otherwise - of early Hollywood. And, of course, it's airing in widescreen.