TiVoPlex
By John Seal
December 13, 2004
BoxOfficeProphets.com
Tuesday 12/14/04
1:35am Flix
Prisoner of Honor (1991 GB): Here’s a genuine oddity: an historical drama from director Ken Russell that’s actually suitable for the whole family. Not that the kiddies would have much interest in a film about the Dreyfus Affair, but when you’re talking Ken Russell, a PG rating is something to shout about. Richard Dreyfuss (who claims blood ties to the Dreyfus of old) plays an army colonel whose job it is to ensure that the infamous French officer is convicted of treason and packed off to Devil’s Island, but starts to have doubts as he learns the truth about the case. The film features a sterling supporting cast, including Oliver Reed, Peter Firth, Brian Blessed, and Peter Vaughan. Unlike the star of the film, your humble scribe does not claim to be related to either Dreyfus or Prisoner of Honor’s credited Best Boy, Richard Seal.
9:30am IFC
The Wages of Fear (1953 FRA): If you haven’t already splashed out for the wonderful Criterion DVD of this title, set the timer this morning. Directed by France’s answer to Alfred Hitchcock, Henri-Georges Clouzot (whose equally-memorable 1943 classic Le Corbeau also recently became a welcome addition to the Criterion Collection), this epic adventure follows a group of hired hands on a dangerous trek through South American jungles as they attempt to transport a load of nitroglycerine. Whatever they do, drivers Yves Montand, Peter Van Eyck, and company must somehow navigate 300 miles of atrocious roads without shifting the contents of their vehicles and agitating the explosives within. Clocking in at a generous and thoroughly unboring 156 minutes, this is a gorgeously shot thriller that will keep you thoroughly involved to the end. Add in a memorable Georges Auric score, and you have one of the greatest suspense films ever made. Also airs at 3:45pm.
4pm Cinemax
The Agronomist (2003 USA): Jonathan Demme’s documentary look at the world’s happiest political dissident, Haitian broadcaster and cineaste Jean Dominique, comes to the small screen today. Dominique owned and operated the feisty Radio Haiti-Inter, a Creole language station that spoke the truth to that nation’s poverty-stricken peasants in their own tongue. Filmed over the course of ten turbulent years, the film follows Dominique’s travels into and out of exile and details his growing disenchantment with the government of Jean-Bertrand Aristide and his subsequent assassination. This marvelous film about a man of principle who refused to take the path of least resistance should be required viewing for all the talk-radio gasbags currently polluting America’s airwaves. Also airs at 7pm.
Wednesday 12/15/04
5:15am Starz!
Teacher’s Pet (2004 USA): The best animated film of the year - and that includes The Incredibles - makes its television debut this morning. Released in the dead of winter 2004, Teacher’s Pet deserved a better fate and a much wider release, as it’s genuinely funny and filled with some of the best Disney songs (courtesy the Petersen-Quinn song-writing team) this side of the studio’s equally-maligned Hunchback of Notre Dame. Nathan Lane provides the voice of Spot, a talking dog determined to fulfill his lifelong dreams of not only attending school with his 4th-grader master, Leonard, but becoming a real live boy to boot. Humorously incorporating references to the Mouse House’s 1940 feature, Pinocchio, throughout its brisk 74-minute running time, Teacher’s Pet also stretches the boundaries of children’s filmmaking with its transgender - er, trans-species - lead character, whose dream actually comes true thanks to the machinations of mad scientist Dr. Krank (Kelsey Grammar). But change isn’t always for the best, and soon Scott Manly-Manning (the former Spot’s assumed human name) is longing for a simpler time when it was enough to chase a stick and get his tummy tickled. Other voice talent involved includes David Ogden Stiers, Jerry Stiller, and Paul Reubens. Trust me on this one: this is a film both you and your kids will love. Also airs at 8:15am, 4:35pm, and 7:35pm and on 12/19 at 7:45am and 10:45am.
6pm Trio
Tattooed Tears (1982 GB): Before he became an onscreen documentary provocateur, Nick Broomfield got his start with this made-for-PBS look at life in the California Youth Authority. It was quite a coup for Broomfield to get access to the Authority, and this remains an extremely powerful, disturbing, and moving document. Focusing on a handful of incarcerated youngsters, including kids in jail for glue sniffing and BB gun use, the film is a raw depiction of a dehumanizing penal system that crushes the hopes and dreams of at-risk teenagers. Trio has sadly chosen to bleep out the “f” words from their print, rendering some of the film's conversations almost inaudible, and they've also fogged out the male genitalia, but the film's brutal strength shines through. Perhaps one day it'll turn up on DVD; till then, we’ve got Trio’s defanged version, which is better than nothing.
5pm Turner Classic Movies
Two Arabian Knights (1927 USA): TCM has hauled three long-forgotten Howard Hughes’ silents out of the vaults as part of this month’s The Aviator-driven cinema salute to the world’s richest hypochondriac. Two Arabian Knights has long been out of circulation, but was recently donated by the Hughes estate to the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, Film Department. TCM has restored it, and now it makes its world television premiere. Virtually unseen since its initial release, the film was directed by the great Lewis Milestone, who won the 1929 Academy Award for Best Director/Comedy Picture for his work here (The separate comedy category was eliminated after 1929). Written for the screen by James O’Donohue, this is purported to be a rugged wartime comedy à la What Price Glory, and features Mary Astor, William Boyd, Louis Wolheim, and - in a bit part - Boris Karloff. It’s followed at 6:30pm by 1928’s The Racket, an equally forgotten Best Picture nominee also now in the UNLV archives, and at 8pm by the slightly-less rare The Mating Call, a 1928 feature about a World War I doughboy taking on the Ku Klux Klan. Don’t miss a single minute of this historic block of programming, as none of these films are otherwise available for general viewing.
Thursday 12/16/04
4am Sundance
The Magical Life of Long Tack Sam (2003 CAN): This delightful piece of genealogical investigation explores the life and times of a vaudeville magician, the great-grandfather of director Ann Marie Fleming. Long Tack Sam’s claims to fame included mentoring Orson Welles and opening for the Marx Brothers, but he also wove a great deal of myth and storytelling into the narrative of his life. Fleming’s film tries to unravel the myths and determine the truth of her long-dead relative’s life through interviews, snapshots, and animated sequences, and though the end result may not be entirely satisfactory - how much can we really know about a man dead for so many years? - the journey is nonetheless worth taking. Also airs 12/19 at 12:30pm.
10:30am Turner Classic Movies
Monkey on My Back (1957 USA): Cameron Mitchell shoulda been a contender after his brilliant performance in this biopic, but he never caught on with American filmgoers and spent the rest of his career grinning and bearing it through a long line of Eurotrash thrillers and grade Z horror flicks. Produced in the same year - and perhaps overshadowed by - the similarly themed A Hatful of Rain, Monkey on My Back features Mitchell as Barney Ross (the former Barnet Rasofksy), a successful pugilist during the 1930s who volunteered for military service at the advanced age of 32 after the attack on Pearl Harbor. Wounded in 1942 during the deadly battles for Guadalcanal, Ross became addicted to morphine during the course of his treatment and rehabilitation. Directed by one-eyed Hungarian filmmaker Andre de Toth, this is an honest and nonjudgmental depiction of the pull of addiction and the quest for redemption.
Friday 12/17/04
3:30am The Movie Channel
Ring of Darkness (2004 USA): Exhibit A in the culture wars: director David DeCoteau’s homoerotic horror films are finally coming to cable. I haven’t seen this one, but it reportedly features lots of young men in their briefs as well as Adrienne Barbeau, so there’s something for everyone. It has something to do with a zombie boy band, but no one will be watching this for the plot. Also airs at 6:30am.
Saturday 12/18/04
Midnight Sundance
Rude Boy (1980 GB): This rough-and-ready kitchen-sink drama drew attention on release thanks to its connection to the “only band that matters”, The Clash. Whilst it’s true that Joe Strummer and company were an incomparable live act (I bore witness to their magnificence twice, in 1979 and 1980), the sad fact is that this isn’t really a very good movie. Written for the screen by Clash fan Ray Gange, who cast himself as a sycophantic roadie, Rude Boy is an overlong, under-produced, and poorly-acted look at punk rock and working-class life circa late-1970s Britain. Still and all, if you’re a Clash fan or aging punk, you absolutely have to see it, and at least there’s some fun to be had spotting faces in the background, including those of Sham 69 bigmouth Jimmy Pursey and punk publicist and author Caroline Coon.
10:30am HBO
Shattered Glass (2003 USA): I missed this acclaimed art-house drama on its initial release, probably because I’m only willing to pay to see Hayden Christiansen on the big screen once every three years. More fool me, then, as this is an excellent little biopic, and Christiansen proves he can do more than wield a light saber and pout. He plays Stephen Glass, the brilliant and ambitious young journalist whose scoops for The New Republic seemed almost too good to be true when they were published in the late 1990s. In fact, they WERE too good to be true, and Glass ended up admitting he had fabricated more than half of the 41 stories he’d filed over a three-year period. Shattered Glass can’t really explain why he did what he did, though its wraparound opening and closing segments supply hints (none involving midichlorians), but its compulsive viewing that will keep you on the edge of your seat; no mean feat for a straight drama. Also airs at 1:30pm.
Sunday 12/19/04
10:15pm Turner Classic Movies
So Funny It Hurt: Buster Keaton and MGM (2004 USA): Somehow I overlooked this brand-new documentary about the life and times of America’s greatest film comic, when it premiered on TCM December 7th. Luckily for me (and for all of you who also missed it), it’s due for an “encore presentation” this evening. Directed by film professor Kevin Brownlow, that dapper authority of silent cinema, So Funny It Hurt features rare and previously unseen footage and archival interviews with the Great Stone Face himself.