The Amazing Race Season 29 Recap
I Thought We Were Playing It Nice
By David Mumpower
May 25, 2017
BoxOfficeProphets.com
But Brooke is on The Amazing Race this year.
Brooke, the woman who once begged Michael for help, had zero problem U-Turning him. What’s interesting about that that decision is that after receiving his previous aid, she’d sworn never to U-Turn his team. Believe it or not, Brooke is a villainess who cannot be trusted! Let us take a moment to check out your shocked faces. That’s strange. We’re not seeing any.
Anyway, Liz & Michael had a nice moment at the end of the leg, but they were eliminated from the game. It’s probably for the best. In another couple of legs, they might have wound up in a murder/suicide. Both of them have a temper, Michael’s being much more intense/scary.
Tonight’s leg begins in Athens, Greece. Any team that’s not happy at the start of today’s leg needs to brush up on world history. Team Mom and Dad aka Tara and Joey finished in first place and are the first team to depart. They leave at 2:40 p.m. That’s early enough in the day that this leg might not involve bunching.
The first destination is Corinth Canal. And the gap from first to last place is fairly significant. Team Fun doesn’t depart until 5:23 p.m., a gap of almost four hours. They claim that they’re #Funstoppable. What they were last week was #Funtunate. Without the U-Turn by Brooke, they’d be home right now.
At Corinth Canal, the players have to bungee jump off the bridge into the walled canal below. Phil points out that this Road Block was last done in season nine. The Amazing Race has been on television so long that they have to repeat themselves.
Anyway, Joey does this challenge and handles it like a star. After it’s over, he calmly asks the Greek dudes handling the apparatus, “Is my hair still good?” He receives a hearty high-five from one of them. Joey’s a great guy.
But wait!
We spoke too soon about the bunching. The next destination is Hanoi, Vietnam. So, the bungee jump is just for the cool visual. And maybe some punishment. The ONE thing that Scott and Brooke have done well this season is divide the Road Blocks. After nine of them, she’s done five (thanks, Michael!) while he has done four. So, he blindly chooses to do this one.
As a reminder from a previous episode, Scott is petrified of heights. His lone wish during the drive to the Road Block is that he doesn’t have to do a bungee jump. The producers of the show just might hate him…which is valid. Scott gives great drama queen, ranting that he has done four Road Blocks so far, and three of them have involved heights.
The same employee who high-fived Macho Man Joey promises to help Scott. His “help” is a shove off the platform. Scott squeals in terror so much that he potentially could have given himself a heart attack. Unlike most people who complete these challenges, he expresses no satisfaction afterward. In fact, he has a Murder Face. The Scott-hating producers better watch their backs. He seems like a pretty vengeful guy.
London and Logan have a comically different reaction. London does a Road Block dance, and then they spring up the steps. Logan leaps for joy…off a bridge. Then, Team Fun shows up, but Team LoLo has already stolen their shtick. Becca and Floyd are only the second happiest team today. Becca takes the plunge, screaming happily all the while (natch), and everyone heads to the airport.
All players are on the same flight. A quarter way through the show, the leg hasn’t truly started yet. This show’s weird sometimes.
What a difference a red eye flight makes! Tara and Joey are crashing hard. They apparently couldn’t sleep on the plane and have combined for four hours of sleep. When we saw them six minutes later, Joey was cooler than Keith Richards.
In Vietnam, the search to find the next clue is of the needle in a haystack variety. A bunch of Vietnamese street performers are doing a Lieutenant Uhura-esque fan dance. Some of the fans have a yellow stick indicating a clue. So, observant players have an advantage here. Becca and Floyd find theirs immediately, reversing their fortune from last to first place. Brooke and Scott are right behind them, as are London and Logan. Order of finish in the last leg basically means nothing at this point. This is why we hate bunching.
The next part of the challenge is to head to Quan Su Buddhist Temple. Inside, the players have a Detour. The choices are Bamboo Climb or Window Design. Some species of bamboo grow an inch an hour. Teams must grab a ladder, navigate the narrow streets by bike, carry the ladder up an even tighter series of stairwells and hallways, and retrieve a birdcage from the roof. Then, they have to bring the ladder and birdcage back where they started.
While Bamboo Climb sucks, it sounds vastly superior to Window Design unless a player has similar skills to Shawn Spencer from Psych. Teams must grab three mannequins and then find Cahn Cam Street. Here, they’ll enter a store’s mannequin display area. In it is a picture of a family wearing store merchandise. Players must dress the mannequins exactly the same as the family in the picture. It looks excruciating.
The teams all agree with us and rush to the ladders. Team Fun is first and quickly grabs a latter. Brooke and Scott are up next. They don’t see a ladder that has a clue on it. That’s despite the fact that one is right beside them while another is right above them. The Boys literally see it from across the street and come over to grab a clue. At this point, Scott tries to jump in front of them to take the ladder he should have had several minutes ago. They don’t let him because, well, he’s trying to cheat. He gets mad at them.
In a total panic, Brooke and Scott freak out rather than demonstrate a modicum of composure. Scott angrily storms down the street, almost getting struck by a guy on a moped in the process. Meanwhile, London and Logan show up. They too spot a ladder immediately. This one is up high, so London starts climbing another ladder to reach it. At this point, Brooke sees it and starts trying to prevent London from climbing so that she can get it. This is actually dangerous, and it ends with A) London getting the ladder anyway and B) London shouting, “NOT COOL!” as Scott walks by. Without a ladder, they leave to do Window Design instead.
Brooke and Scott gonna Brooke and Scott.
The next minute is a screaming match between them. They don’t realize two things. The first is that Window Design is probably the first challenge all season that’s within Brooke’s skillset. The second is that Tara and Joey are behind them, and they have to do Window Design, too.
The hardest part of Bamboo Climb is the indoors portion. The pathways are too narrow. Lifting the ladder to a higher level is extremely difficult. Team Fun gets stuck on the way up. Then, they get stuck on the way down. The Boys arrive for the second half of it, and Matt helps his opponents with their ladder. It’s not an act of generosity per se. He simply can’t get by them. To wit, Floyd has to move out of the way so that Matt can walk to the stairs. It’s one of the tightest indoor spaces we’ve ever seen. It’s like six feet by 12 feet, and the protective railings and floor gaps take up most of that space.
We cut back to Brooke and Scott. Shocker! They’re fighting!
A lovely Vietnamese gentleman helps Brooke with some of the mannequin pieces that have fallen to the ground. She makes faces the whole time, irritated by the challenge rather than appreciating the generosity of a stranger. After more quarreling, Scott says, “You’re the worst.” At this moment, we have the epiphany that if Idi Amin and Joseph Stalin were on a reality show, one of them would be more likable than the other. Yes, each one is a monster, but one’s still better than the other. For all his faults, Scott’s the better teammate and nicer person in his duo. We’ll tell you what’s better about Brooke if we think of anything.
Team Fun is first to finish the leg. The Boys are right behind them, though. The two teams learn that the Pit Stop is at Thong Nhat Park. They’ll race to see who wins this leg. It’s a bit of a surprise, at least to us. Team Fun edges The Boys and wins a free trip to the Galápagos Islands as a prize. Even though they don’t really know each other, we still think there’s a real chance that they still take this trip together. Becca and Floyd are instant besties. The same is true of The Boys, by the way. It’s rare to see two teams have this much fun on the same season. Hell, it’s rare to see one team enjoy themselves so consistently.
Meanwhile, guess what! Brooke and Scott are still fighting! Basically, everything each of them has held back over the past few legs comes out in a single stream of angry consciousness. It’s like watching the Legion of Doom squabble about why they can’t beat that stupid guy in the bat costume that has no superpowers.
Tara and Joey finish their part of the Detour. Well, that’s not true. They think they finish their leg, only to realize that they’ve decorated two mannequins. They’re supposed to have three. It’s never a good sign on The Amazing Race when the onscreen display is #ReadYourClue. Scott sees all of this and is classy about the suffering of others. No wait, he giggles and claps his hands happily. And he should. Brooke and Scott finish their challenge ahead of Tara and Joey.
As we realize how much trouble Team Mom and Dad are in, Team LoLo checks in at the finish line. Either Team Brooke and Scott goes home, pleasing the entire CBS viewing audience, or the agreeable parents lose due to a misread clue.
In the end, it’s a draw of sorts. Joey and Tara arrive at the finish line just after their lousy opponents. Joey basically collapses at the finish line, having used up all the energy in his body. Brooke offers sympathy, which receives an acidic reply of Tara. She rhetorically asks, “So now you care?” It’s almost a generational conflict as the mom and dad show disappointment in the younger duo. Tara was already dialed up about Brooke’s using a U-Turn against Liz and Michael in the previous leg. Then, Brooke annoyed her more in this leg. Brooke and Scott have become one of the least liked teams in the history of the show.
Also, the conflict will continue for at least another episode. That’s because Phil reveals that this is a non-elimination leg. At least Tara and Joey’s clue-reading mistake doesn’t cost them. Conversely, Brooke and Scott have finished in fourth place or lower for the eighth time in nine legs. How they’re still alive in the competition is a mystery…and a source of tremendous aggravation to us.