The Amazing Race: Double U-Turn Ahead
By Daron Aldrige
May 3, 2017
BoxOfficeProphets.com
It’s been awhile since I’ve sat in the recapper’s chair but here I am. In fact, it was December 2014 when I last regularly recounted The Amazing Race on a weekly basis. Ahh…simpler times. You know, the year when LEGOs taught us that “Everything is awesome…Everything is cool when you're part of a team.” That “awesome”-ness and “cool”-ness of teamwork is particularly relevant this season as The Amazing Race with its Perfect Strangers theme.
First, David and Kim's assessments of the remaining teams for this season are spot-on in my opinion. Here’s my quick breakdown:
Tara & Joey complement each other eerily well and even when disagreeing, they do so in a very mature way. Probably because they are the most seasoned (age-wise) of the teams. Can’t help but root from them.
I was super leery that Becca & Floyd would be less #teamfun and more #teampleasestop. But they have been sweet, endearing and getting along perfectly, as long as passports aren’t misplaced.
Matt & Redmond are entertaining to watch as they seem to be just chewing up and spitting out these challenges. Seriously, they didn’t just survive a U-Turn but did both Detour tasks faster than five other teams.
London & Logan...who? Pretty inconsequential and part of the scenery at this point. Done nothing offensive or memorable so far. I would call them Team Meh and not Team LoLo.
Liz & Michael started out smooth with back-to-back 1st places and then Norway maps and stairs showed their faults. They are the team that has surprised me the most result-wise.
Vanck & Ashton get the distinction of being the most mismatched team. I’m not talking physically. Vanck seems like a genuinely nice guy, who is more measured in this approach to everything. Ashton is…well…not. Her measured approach is to complain about being stuck with Vanck as a partner as he stands right beside her. The most pleasant way for me to put it is she’s just not pleasant.
Speaking of unpleasant, Brooke & Scott are the most combustible of teams, who seem to just not like one another. And trust us, the more they get on each other’s nerves, the more they get on the viewer’s nerves. Plus, based upon her quick whining about any physical task, Brooke may take the crown of most annoying racers since season 3 winner Flo or Big Brother’s Rachel.
Now it’s onto the latest leg and the question Kim and David left you with: “if Liz & Mike go back to being buddies or choose the Brooke & Scott option instead.”
We pick a few moments before the Phil psych-out of "You're still racing" saves the bacon of cowgirl Liz and butcher Michael.
Tara & Joey excitedly celebrate their faux first place finish until they find out the leg isn't over and must now be the product placement show pony for a certain travel website sponsor of this show. No need to name them since their ubiquity on the race is a given.
All the teams are seen in awe of the airline booking app as if they were a bunch of technophobes that had never used an app before. "That was so easy." Which might have just as well been followed with "SORCERY!!!"
The residual meltdown of Liz & Michael arguing in the streets of Norway with her (accurately) declaring that he was acting like a "jackass." Despite this being true and Liz being on the right side of this quarrel, she apologizes for the sake of putting it behind them and moving forward. Looks like they may be buddies again.
Their next destination is Milan, Italy and will all be on the same flight but not on the same page. Tara is particularly excited because she loves Italy and that's where she met her husband. Plus she speaks the language some.
Within their clue for this leg, there is the looming threat of a Double U-Turn and six of the remaining teams collectively decide that the seventh team should all be their target. The odd ones out are Vanck & Ashton. The attitude she throws at her partner and the others seems to be the motivation and poor Vanck is guilty by association. I do wonder why no one questions the similar shoddy attitude of Brooke.
Once they land in Italy, they must head to Piazza Fontana for their next clue. A little run/walk race to the cab stand that I've missed so much ensues with each directing their driver to pass Vanck & Ashton, which Liz & Michael get the distinction of doing.
Scrambling to the next clue, Tara & Joey land in familiar first. It's time for a Roadblock that asks "Who's hungry?" So what's on the menu, Phil?
For the task, one team member has to ride a dining team around the downtown Milan area and find three words (Cernobbio, Concordia, and Lago) with the Amazing Race-specific red and yellow colors marking them. When the tram completes the loop, they tell them to the conductor who gives them the clue or tells them to try again. A couple of catches: First, it's a dining team so they have to finish entrees; and second, only four teams on a tram at a time and there are only two trains.
Tara pulls up to the plate for her team and right behind them is formerly last place team Liz & Michael. The apparently reformed "jackass" Michael volunteers for the task and boards the same tram as Tara. As they get on their way, they are quick to recognize the value in sharing notes and making sure they only have to do this once. No need to bust out the calculators because the simple math tells us that one of the remaining teams will be sidelined and waiting as the fifth wheel. Who will it be?
If you said your money was on London & Logan, then I'd know you were a liar because no one really remembers that this non-factor of a team is even on the show still. But that's who is left out. Cue the sad trombone and the pathetic shot of Logan sitting on a railing waiting for his turn.
The Roadblock folks for tram two are Scott, Vanck, Redmond and Floyd. While all seated at their own tables, Scott thinks he's more clever and observant than he is with arrogant winking at the camera when he is trying to deceive Vanck, who, to his credit, doesn't even appear to give Scott a second thought. Basically, Scott's trying to play a mind game with a guy that is much smarter and is apathetic to his attempts at trickery. But Vanck's presence does mess up the other three's games because now they can't openly help each other the way Tara and Michael are.
Speaking of that team work, it does make the dream work. Tara and Michael complete the first loop and think they've gotten it correct. Tara gets the thumbs up first and then Michael. Their sprinting away gives hope to those waiting on their partners that the task is easy. Except Logan who is just happy to finally start the challenge.
On tram two, there isn't much chit chat with Redmond intentionally blocking his paper, like a kid during a spelling test. All four think they have it and they go 4-for-4...denials. Yup, all of them miss only one and get to reboard the chew chew train. (I am not even close to "sorry" for that joke.)
While Scott confers with Floyd as they wait, he blatantly refuses to share with Vanck. If that doesn't signal something to the man, maybe he's just that out of touch. That team HAS to know they are the U-Turn target.
Back in Logan's lonely table for one, he actually has four words written down. Three of which are correct but he has to decide which ones he will present to the conductor. Unsurprisingly, he picks wrong and has to go for another ride about the course with two more courses. Wisely, he does compare notes with Scott to confirm all three answers. Now this return trip is just a formality.
At the next destination, Tara & Joey arrive at a steamboat and pull the earliest time of 7 a.m. with Liz & Michael taking the time of 7:05. The teams will apparently be spending the night on the boat for rest and food/wine as it cruises around Lake Como.
As expected, all the teams successfully rattle off the answers to the conductor and get their clue.
Since only 30 minutes separate the first time and the last time, it’s still anyone's game. As they socialize, snowboarder Matt notes that it's nice to not think about the game but tomorrow morning, it's go-time.
Tara & Joey pull the clue first and it tells them that the Double U-Turn is directly ahead. The plan is in motion. One team will U-Turn Vanck & Ashton and another team will them throw away a U-Turn by using it on a team that's passed that clue.
The well-oiled machine of Tara & Joey get the advice from a cabbie that where they are headed is only three minutes on foot. They head up the path and find the stairs. Since they U-Turned Seth & Olive before, they decide that it's someone else’s turn to fill that role. And that honor goes to second place team Liz & Michael.
The Detour gives the teams the choice (except Vanck & Ashton who have to do both now) of Make a Mold or Grab a Hold. For Mold, they have to head to a supposedly haunted castle and making a life-size ghost-like statue of plaster and clothe. For Hold, they head to a cliff and climb up 90 feet to retrieve their clue, while their partner is their anchor on the ground. This one smacks of catering to one team...you know...#teamfun who has a person that is a freakin' rock climbing instructor.
Tara & Joey go with Mold and Liz & Michael opt for Hold but immediately dip their toes back into the Norway waters for getting lost walking.
Next to the Detour clue is the team with the aforementioned rock-climbing ringer of Becca. They goofily admire their cute team photo before saying they choose to U-Turn Liz & Michael, who told them to use it on them. Matt & Redmond also arrive and, just as predictably as Team Fun, they go for Hold.
Taking a page from the wandering duo of Liz & Michael, Vanck & Ashton miss the Detour clue spot, which gives Brooke & Scott and London & Logan the chance to sneak past them. They are thrilled to see their U-Turn plan worked. Team Meh/LoLo goes for the Mold and the other two head to Hold.
Vanck & Ashton finally find the Detour spot in last and we all know that the only thing that could save them is a non-elimination leg, which they wouldn't put back-to-back, right? RIGHT?!?!
As they hustle to their first task - Hold - they pass Liz & Michael and give them a not-quite sincere "Thanks!"
Tara & Joey have settled into the task with Joey manning the plaster with Tara as the mold model. This is the more time-consuming task but low-risk.
Over at the high-risk challenge, Matt (aka Spider-Man aka the guy who waltzed up 13 stories of a rickety Norwegian bonfire like it was nothing) is the climber and is blazing up the side of the cliff. And after a crash course of how to be an anchor during their ride to the task, Becca is showing that she is very good at her job. She narrows the gap between her and Matt but he finishes first.
They are both heading to the pit stop via high-end speedboat. Back at Mold, Joey is making sure the plaster is dried before removing it. Success! They're making their way to Phil too.
A neck-and-neck boat ride to the pit stop comes down to who has the better boat driver when it comes to docking. Team Fun chose the right driver and they are literally seconds in front of Matt & Redmond onto the mat. Team Fun gets their number one. That's right...Matt & Redmond were undone by the boating equivalent of parallel parking.
Tara & Joey get to Phil in third.
Over at Hold, Brooke oddly agrees to do the climbing. I guess the alternative would be for her to be the anchor and Scott would likely fall to his doom, since she can't even use a mallet and shears to make a ladle. As you could guess, she has a breakdown and demands that Scott look to where she is supposed to grab on to. Remember he's on the ground and she's 20+ feet above him. Probably not the best vantage point or visibility. This Brooke-tantrum is just the door needed by Liz to pass them up.
At Mold, London is thoroughly enjoying her artistic outlet of plastering up Logan. Both sides of this Detour are pretty straightforward and undramatic, aside from Brooke who would probably reduce to a puddle of tears if you asked her to play hop scotch.
As the other teams have left Hold, Vanck is the anchor to Ashton's climber. She proclaims that her upper body strength should make this easy. They seem resigned to being eliminated which is making her a much nicer person to her partner. For a team that is clearly going to be last and likely going home, they haven't given them much in the way of screen time.
Hold is done and they head to Mold. Officially Liz & Michael are number four with Brooke & Scott as five and London & Logan as six. Phil asks why did they target Vanck & Ashton and Brooke happily embraces her not-so-secret mean girl. Channeling Regina George, she explains that there are people you want to invite to a dinner party and then there are those that are second tier. Man, this girl is unlikeable.
At Mold, there is actually a sweet moment where Ashton tells mold model Vanck that he's going to make a very pretty ghost. That sweetness then meets sadness when he replies, "I never thought I be pretty anything."
The conclusion of this leg wasn't just telegraphed but put on the Jumbotron for all to see within the first 10 minutes and Phil follows through as Vanck & Ashton are sent home. But she praises her partner for how far they made it as the most opposite of all the teams.
Cross those fingers that the next leg sees the dismissal of the other most unlikeable racer Brooke. A boy can dream.