This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison for the new releases for May 29-31, 2015
By Curt David
May 30, 2015
BoxOfficeProphets.com

She looks nice, but zombies should be terrified of her.
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For the weekend of May 29th, the new movies in wide release are San Andreas and Aloha.


San AndreasAlohaWINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleAbout an Earthquake?About Hawaii?Not super detailed titles. 1/2 point each.
Best Genre
and Rating		Action
Rated PG-13 for intense disaster action and mayhem throughout, and brief strong language |See all certifications		Dramedy
Rated PG-13 for some language including suggestive comments.		Different genres. 1/2 point each.
Best Plot
(in haiku form)		Super big earthquake
Hardcore disaster movie
And big Tsunami 		Moves to Hawaii
Meets girl and sees ex-girlfriend
Laughing and crying		Similar plots to other movies. 1/2 point each.
Best TrailerPROS: Looks like an epic, epic disaster movie
CONS: None, if you enjoy plots of disaster movies		PROS: Has a ton of famous actors! Seems like a good dramedy
CONS: But does every movie need love triangles and people in relationships thinking about being with other people? 		Surprisingly, San Andreas had a better trailer. Point.
Coolest Lead ActorDwayne Johnson from Fast & Furious 6, The Scorpion King, and WWE.Bradley Cooper from Alias, Silver Linings Playbook, and The Hangover.The two biggest movie stars in the world. 1/2 point each.
Best CastCarla Gugino (Night at the Museum), Ioan Gruffudd (Fantastic Four), and Kylie Minogue (international popstar)Emma Stone (The Help), Rachel McAdams (The Notebook), Bill Murray (Groundhog Day), John Krasinski (The Office), and Alec Baldwin (30 Rock)Aloha wins the point for the best cast!
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Director Brad Peyton also directed Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. Writer and Director Cameron Crowe also wrote and directed Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous, and We Bought a Zoo.Cameron Crowe wins this point.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Aloha scores 4 points (and a gold star) and San Andreas scores 3 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like any movie with The Rock, feel free to watch San Andreas. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Aloha is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. I couldn’t find one for San Andreas, so Aloha’s “Sometimes you have to say goodbye before you can say hello” wins the point.
Conclusion 3: I have been a fan of Bradley Cooper since he was my favorite character on the show Alias. Dear B-Coop, email me and let’s get lunch sometime!