This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison for the new releases for April 17-19, 2015
By Curt David
April 17, 2015
BoxOfficeProphets.com

Don't worry. Everyone on Facebook will just ignore it.
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then, I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For the weekend of April 17th, the new movies in wide release are Monkey Kingdom, Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, and Unfriended.


Monkey KingdomPaul Blart: Mall Cop 2UnfriendedWINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleSequel to Animal Kingdom? Sequel to Paul Blart?Sequel to The Social Network?Only one question am I sure of the answer. Point for Paul Blart.
Best Genre
and Rating		Documentary
Rated G		Comedy
Rated PG for some violence		Horror
Rated R for violent content, pervasive language, some sexuality, and drug and alcohol use - all involving teens		Three different genres and ratings! A happy 1/3 point each!
Best Plot
(in haiku form)		Mom monkey has kid
Move from jungle to city
Monkeying around		Mall cop vacation
Vegas hotel takeover
Paul to the rescue		Cyberbullied girl
Kills herself. Three years later
Her friends start dying		Monkey Kingdom and Unfriended split the point.
Best TrailerPROS: Is another Disney Earth Day movie
CONS: None, if you like nature		PROS: Looks like some silly humor
CONS: May not be extremely funny, but I haven’t seen it		PROS: More original than the average horror flick
CONS: Whole movie seems to be made on webcams, but that might not be a bad thing		Monkey Kingdom and Unfriended split the point.
Coolest Lead ActorThe voice of Tina Fey from SNL, Date Night, and 30 Rock.Kevin James from King of Queens and Hitch.None that I recognize yetKevin James wins this point.
Best CastA bunch of monkeysSome cameos of famous folksNone that I recognize yetSomehow there was not a winner in this category. 1/3 point each.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Co-directors Mark Linfield and Alastair Fothergill also co-directed Earth and Chimpanzee. Director Andy Fickman also directed She’s the Man and The Game Plan.Director Levan Gabriadze also directed Russian moviesThe directors will also split the point three ways.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 scores 3 points, Unfriended scores 2 points (and a gold star), and Monkey Kingdom scores 2 points.

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you like documentaries or horror movies, feel free not to watch Paul Blart. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, Paul Blart is the best movie to watch this weekend (due to its name recognition).
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. Unfriended’s “This April revenge comes online,” barely beats Monkey Kingdom’s “Adventure is in full swing,” and Paul Blart’s “Vegas has a new high roller.”
Conclusion 3: Earth Day is Wednesday, April 22nd.