The Amazing Race 26 Recap
Episode 5: Get in That Lederhosen, Baby
By Kim Hollis and David Mumpower
April 6, 2015

I came on this show for love. I didn't get love.

Previously on The Amazing Race, four of the best coaches in NCAA history led their teams to spots in the Final Four. It was a lot more exciting than usual. The Amazing Race needs more buzzer beaters.

We also vaguely recall something about blind dates, an extremely annoying woman, and a couple who do not believe in the third date rule. Yes, it’s the horniest season of The Amazing Race ever. Eight teams are still competing, and we hope that they wouldn’t dare spring a non-elimination episode on us after this extended break.

We kick off the show by spending a little time with Laura & Tyler who had won the “date” from the previous leg. They both talk about how they’re in the friend zone. Even though there’s no real love connection between this blind date duo, they’re still determined to win.

Bergen & Kurt are first to leave at 3:03 p.m. We presume they’ve been tapping their feet anxiously for several minutes now, as any non-race time spent together is utter torture. The clue instructs them to head to Munich, Germany. Once they arrive, they’ll need to head to the Wies’n Tracht & Mehr clothing shop, where they will choose appropriate attire to wear for Oktoberfest.

For his part, Bergen had been worried that Kurt might quit on him ever since they discovered their incompatibility as a match (instantly). He’s hoping that winning the last leg will motivate them both to push forward and continue to take control of the race.

Our second team to leave is Hayley & Blair, only three minutes behind Bergen & Kurt. They admit to having been angry at each other a lot in the last leg, but now Hayley says they’re best buds who are going to win the race. “Yeah,” says Blair, unconvincingly. We’re pretty sure he’s thinking, “Since there’s no place else I can be, there’s no place I’d rather be.”

Olympians Aly & Steve are right on the heels of Hayley & Blair, and are excited about their next destination because they met in Munich at a dinner prior to the Sochi games. Laura & Tyler depart about a half hour later, followed by Jeff & Jackie who are another half hour behind. This pair is the first of our blind daters who have any real chemistry between them and as we mentioned at the beginning of this recap, things have *ahem* progressed between them.

Eventually, the producers decide that it’s dumb to keep showing the teams as they depart because they go ahead and cut to the plane to Munich, where all eight teams have boarded. Departure times were unimportant, and we’re bitter that we wasted time trying to keep track of them.

Now that we’re all bunched, it’s a race to the first clue box. Laura & Tyler arrive first, and set about choosing their lederhosen. Once their outfits are approved, they’ll be able to proceed to the Alter Peter Tower. Jeff & Jackie, Bergen & Kurt and Hayley & Blair are in the clothing store before the first place team is even dressed. Matt & Ashley, Jenny & Jelani and Mike & Rochelle are waiting for dressing rooms as well.

Once teams arrive at the Alter Peter Tower, they’ll have to climb to the top and look down at the ground to discover marked cars. They’ll choose one of these vehicles to drive to Schlafwagenfabrik (thank goodness for captions). After an exhausting climb, Laura & Tyler see their cars right away and begin their descent of the tower to get back to ground level. Jeff & Jackie are right behind them.

Laura is designated driver for her team, and she either doesn’t know how to drive a clutch or she kills the car. They decide to take one of the others, but Tyler leaves his bag behind. If they’re lucky, one of their fellow racers will bring it to them.

Blind daters Bergen & Kurt and Hayley & Blair arrive at the top of the tower together and have sighted their vehicles. Even though Jeff & Jackie saw the marked cars from the top of the tower, now that they’re on the ground they’re having trouble getting their bearings.

As Blair struggles with the stick shift, Hayley needles him, saying that they have to get away before other teams see them. Of course, this comment comes right after they tell Bergen & Kurt to follow them. Hayley is… erratic.

Still, Bergen & Kurt can’t follow if they don’t know how to drive a manual transmission. You’d think that people would learn this skill prior to competing on The Amazing Race. You always need to be able to drive a clutch. Bergen simply has no idea what to do, and Kurt obnoxiously tells him, “The first time I get freaked out, I’m getting out.”

This allows Matt & Ashley to slip past them, along with Steve & Aly. Jeff & Jackie, Jenny & Jelani and Mike & Rochelle are all trying to find the marked cars. Eventually, Jeff & Jackie find a car, and it happens to be the one where Tyler left his bag behind. That’s not important, though, because they’re in full-on fight mode. Jackie is mad at Jeff for “cutting her off” while they searched for the cars, while he seems equally annoyed. Folks, this is why you’re supposed to wait for the third date.

After a break to be warned about severe weather in the area, we rejoin the battling pair. Jeff tells Jackie to “shut up,” which we’re sure is going over great. Mike & Rochelle and Jenny & Jelani are the last to find their cars but at least neither of these teams is fighting.

Steve realizes that the car he is driving has GPS, which should help lead them to their destination that much sooner. Bergen has finally figured out how to get the car moving, and asks Kurt for help with directions. That involves, like, effort and stuff, so Kurt is irritated.

Cut to Hayley & Blair, and we’re really starting to feel sorry for Blair. Hayley is barking orders at him again, telling him he’s awful and that he’s pissing her off. We see a little piece of him die with every minute he spends with her.

And indeed, Steve & Aly’s discovery of the GPS in their vehicle has led them to reach Schlafwagenfabrik in first place. They now will have to drive their car in reverse through a winter wonderland that has been staged within the building. As they maneuver through the scenery, they’ll need to use their rearview camera to help them piece together their next clue.

They have no trouble with this task at all, and find the bits and pieces that lead them to uncover a clue that says “Schliersee.” Laura & Tyler have arrived on the scene, but as they’re about to start the winter wonderland challenge, they realize that Tyler has left his bag behind in the other car. Tyler says that the only thing they can really do is complete the challenge and then wait for the car with their bag to arrive.

Steve & Aly are indeed off to Schliersee, where they’ll seek out their next clue. Laura & Tyler have the answer correct as well, but they’re now in wait and see mode as they’re hoping that Jeff & Jackie will be kind enough to return Tyler’s bag to them. To Jeff & Jackie’s credit, they both realize that their fight was stupid, and apologize to each other. The makeup sex should be terrific later.

Poor Bergen is back to being unable to drive the stick shift, and he and Kurt decide that they will get a taxi and take a penalty if need be. It’s going to be an extra bad penalty since they need their car to complete the winter wonderland task. Kurt hasn’t really given up, but these two are in real danger of being eliminated because neither of them could be bothered to learn how to drive a clutch.

Jenny & Jelani are subdued, mainly because it hasn’t been going well for them since the prior leg. Jenny encourages Jelani to take his time, and even though they’re struggling, they’re not melting down. Mike & Rochelle are utterly lost.

Having now arrived at Schliersee, Steve & Aly must row a boat out to a wreath where several clues are hanging. It’s time for the Detour – Stein or Stack. For Stein, each team has to figure out how to carry 22 steins all at once. If they can deliver all their mugs without dropping any, they’ll receive their next clue. For Stack, they’ll have to stack 15 beer crates without them falling down. Both options look difficult.

We haven’t seen much of Matt & Ashley tonight, but they’re in second place. Hayley & Blair pull up in a blue car like the one Laura & Tyler are waiting for, but they quickly realize it’s not the right vehicle. Hayley bitches at Blair for even pausing to talk to another team. She refuses to show him the clue, as she’d rather boss him around. Tyler jokes that he’d rather be waiting around for someone to show up with his bag than have to be with Hayley. He’s not wrong.

As they leave, Blair tries to find out what’s going on with Laura & Tyler, but Hayley yells at him some more. When they leave, Tyler says, “Good luck.”

Bergen & Kurt have located a taxi and are jealous of its automatic transmission.

Back at the Detour, Steve & Aly have chosen Stein. It’s not as bad as it first sounded, as each team member must carry 11 (22 for each pair). Despite a close call with a dancing beer drinker, they are able to get their mugs to the table on the first try. It’s a dominant leg for the Olympians so far. They receive a clue that tells them to drive to the Markus Wasmeier Museum.

Jeff & Jackie are debating what to do with Tyler’s fanny pack. Jackie is clearly thinking about something nefarious, which makes sense because Tyler & Laura are a solid team.

Over at the winter wonderland area, Bergen & Kurt are about to have their hopes and dreams smashed to pieces. They obviously can’t complete the challenge to drive their car in reverse through the wonderland if they don’t even have a car. They have a two-hour penalty, and will have to hope that Laura and Tyler are unable to locate their bag (which contains passports and cash).

The Markus Wasmeier Museum is in an idyllic setting. The clue asks, “Who wants to woo?” In keeping with the romantic theme this season, the person who does this Road Block will have to perform a “German act of courtship.” The task will have one team member learning a German tune. If they can sing it correctly, they’ll receive their next clue. If not, they’ll get a bucket of water dumped on them.

Aly takes the Road Block for their team. She worries because she’s not a good singer, but Steve is confident in her abilities.

Hayley & Blair are somehow in second place and have chosen to do the Stein task.

When Jackie & Jeff arrive, Laura & Tyler are thrilled. They ask the duo if they’ve seen a fanny pack, and Jeff & Jackie both say no. Undeterred, Laura & Tyler check the back seat of the car and find their missing bag. Jeff & Jackie are too busy trying to move through the winter wonderland to care.

Jenny & Jelani are now about to take their drive through the “snow,” while Aly is taking her first go at the courtship song. She messes up and is shocked when she gets showered with water.

Back at the Stein challenge, Blair is carrying 14(!) mugs while Hayley manages eight. Naturally, she’s the one who drops her beer and the two of them are sent back to start over. The locals who are celebrating Oktoberfest laugh at them hard.

Mike & Rochelle are… who knows where they are? They’ve stopped for a gas station for snacks. They probably think that they are hopelessly in last place, but we still think they’ll bypass Bergen & Kurt before the leg ends.

On her second try at the courtship song, Aly succeeds easily. They’re sent to Lake Spitzingsee for a Pit Stop. As always, the last team to check in may be eliminated.

Several teams are at the Detour, and Jenny & Jelani, Jackie & Jeff and Laura & Tyler will all pick “Stack.”

Hayley & Blair almost get to the final table with their beer when Hayley basically drops every bit of it on either the floor or her boobs. She’s going to reek of beer for days.

Remember Matt & Ashley? They have arrived and will attempt Stein. Ashley seems more determined and better equipped for the task than Hayley, who is suggesting to Blair that they should swap to Stack.

Matt & Ashley complete the Stein challenge on the first try, which sets Hayley off a bit. When Blair tries to help her by telling her what she was doing wrong on the first two attempts, she berates him. Hayley says he’s only telling her stuff she already knows and calls him “Captain Obvious.” We just want to give Blair a hug.

Time for a local severe weather update again! It’s raining. And thundering. All sound and fury.

We haven’t missed much (if any) show, because we’re back to Hayley & Blair, who finally agree to move to Stack. They provide a stark contrast to the happy team of Steve & Aly, who Phil Keoghan checks in as Team #1. The two of them each will win one of those cars they were driving earlier, but since we’re not paid for product placement here, we’re not going to talk about make and model.

Ashley takes the courtship song Road Block and fails miserably on her first try. She is now soaking wet.

As they begin the “Stack” challenge, Jeff & Jackie are all smiles again. The earlier fight is a distant memory. They also knock their beer crates down pretty quickly and must begin again. Jelani & Jenny get further but also wind up with their crates on the ground. The same thing happens to Hayley & Blair (naturally).

Mike & Rochelle are still driving around Germany somewhere.

Although she’s probably cold and miserable, Ashley still manages to successfully complete the courtship song, which means that she and Matt are headed to the Pitstop and will be checked in as Team #2.

All of the teams at Stack continue to struggle. Blair seems to find a method that will work, but Hayley botches the whole thing again. We’re confident she’ll scream at him like it’s his fault.

Bergen & Kurt have reached the 50 minute mark of their penalty when Mike & Rochelle finally make their drive through the winter wonderland. The producers of the show aren’t even trying to create tension tonight.

Jeff & Jackie are the first team to finish the Stack challenge, while Laura & Tyler and Jenny & Jelani aren’t far behind. Hayley is in danger of throwing a temper tantrum, but Blair finishes his stack quickly, and they are headed toward the Pitstop as well.

Probably an hour after Rochelle & Mike leave, Bergen & Kurt finally can move forward as they have received their clue.

As would be expected given the closeness with which the teams finished the Stack challenge, several of them are bunched together at the singing task. Jackie gets a face full of water for her efforts, but she laughs about it. You’d think Jenny would be mad about the water, but she takes it in stride. Laura gets the bucket, too.

Jackie actually has a beautiful voice, and she gets it right on the second try. Jenny’s voice is less lovely, but she still receives her clue. Blair completes the song on his first attempt.

Mike & Rochelle are at the Stack challenge and we’re betting this takes them a while. Meanwhile, Laura has successfully wooed Tyler, and they’re following the other teams to the Pitstop.

Jeff & Jackie finish the leg in third place, followed by Blair & Hayley and Jelani & Jenny. Blair admits that while he had committed to finishing the race no matter the personality traits of his blind date, there have been a lot of times during the race where he’s wanted to “run away.” Laura & Tyler join them on the mat as well.

Bergen & Kurt are taking a train for some reason. Mike & Rochelle are still stacking. No one really thinks it’s close at all between them. The latter team finishes Stack and will move on to the singing task. Mike handles it with aplomb, and although it’s dark and cold when they arrive, they are still in the race.

Effectively, Bergen & Kurt have quit. Phil goes to find them at the train station and inform them that they have been eliminated from the race (in genuinely humiliating fashion). The good news for the guys is that they’ll no longer have to “enjoy” each other’s company. They say they’re friends, but we’d be surprised if they ever speak again.