Last (double) episode, we saw the departure of Lindsey and Max. Lindsey, who spent most of her in-game time complaining about her tribe, went the full Churchill before being booted, talking about the blood and sweat that the Blue Collars are willing to give and how one of them is going to win this game (ha ha). And then Mike decided to top her by talking about how he’d slit his throat if he had to spend a day on No Collar, while the White Collars all live off the sweat of honest, hard-working Americans. Mike is obviously into Marx in a big way. Or possibly Ayn Rand. I’m starting to think that what makes you Blue Collar is your willingness to believe this horse-plop.
Survivor: Worlds Apart Power Rankings
By Ben Willoughby
March 25, 2015
Max’s departure was perhaps a little more surprising. I can’t wait for the Reunion episode where he takes of his nerd glasses and crazy beard for the big reveal that he’s Matthew McConnaughey. I mean, the nudity, the lunacy, the crazy rambling speeches that don’t actually say anything, the “he is some sort of cult leader.” Tell me that doesn’t fit. Anyway, Season 30, Episode 5, Max was voted out. Remember that in Survivor trivia, people!
Here are the Survivor rankings for this week.
Escameca is obviously the muscle tribe that’s going to win challenges for as long as the Survivor producers forsake challenges that can be won through brain power. The Blue Collars are nominally in control, but there's loads of potential for an epic, angry split.
Mike seemed pretty cut up about alienating Sierra after the Tribal Council vote. He’s Blue Collar all the way, and sees himself as the leader of the rest of the group. I think everyone else will be happy to let Mike see himself that way.
NTOS suggests that Mike is sharpening his knives for Joaquin, due to his budding power couple bromance with Rodney. With Sierra being a possible floater, the male Blue Collars should really be scratching around for any fourth vote they can get. Let’s see if Mike is really that stupid.
Sierra actually got to speak this week, and it was mostly about how the rest of the Blue Collars are now dead to her. Lindsey will be so disappointed in Sierra. So on paper, Sierra could easily change up the game and determine the future direction of the tribe. But after several minutes of Sierra talking about how excited she is to flip, it becomes clear that she is on a tribe that could easily win all the immunity challenges until the merge, and she won’t have the chance.
Despite believing he is some sort of woman-whisperer, Dan proved his Survivor inadequacy four times this week. First of all, he was completely transparent in how much he agreed with Lindsey. Any mediocre Survivor player would have seen right through him, but fortunately for Dan he was talking with Lindsey. Secondly, he wants to clear the air with Sierra, which should that mean she talks about her hurt feelings and he apologizes insincerely. But instead, he launched into a list of reasons why Sierra sucks. Thirdly, he did it again. And finally, Dan has a stupid hat that he wears to Tribal Council. No one likes your hat, Dan.
Rodney has patched things up with Mike after eating his snake. “Men just being men,” is his rationale. Other Rodney highlights were that he’s a “smooth criminal like Michael Jackson,” which was immediately followed up with “I should spank [Lindsey] like a big baby.” As demonstrated elsewhere this week, Rodney could use a few lessons in phrasing. That way, he wouldn’t go around talking about how hot his 64-year-old mother is. Anyway, I encourage all Boston women to set themselves to a higher standard, by not dating Rodney.
As I said above, if the male Blue Collars aren’t total idiots, Joaquin has a good chance of being in with them and making it to the merge. That’s a big if.
We didn’t see a lot of Joe last episode, which is good for Joe, because as the only No Collar on the tribe his job is to lie low, not make waves and quietly build alliances.
Tyler has the most work to do of anyone on the Escameca. I don’t think he will be able to fit in with the Blue Collars, especially if Joaquin is tight with Rodney. So he’ll have to build alliances with Joe and Sierra, as well as keeping Joaquin allied with him. Tyler had better focus on winning challenges for his tribe.
Jenn had a good week, finding the hidden immunity idol and then doing a charming interview about whether it is Max or Shirin who is more annoying. It’s getting to the point where she is coasting.
Carolyn is always so definite about who she wants to get rid of. I think she may have been a little too impatient to get rid of Max and alienate Shirin, because even if she doesn’t like them, those were votes she could have counted on for a while. It will be interesting to see if the other White Collars will turn out to be as gung ho about getting rid of Max as Carolyn was.
I realized I had forgotten to write anything about Hali until I thought I had finished the column. I don’t think that says a lot for her long-term game. I agree with her about Max’s gross Plantar’s wart though. "Hey, let's give the rest of my tribe a communicable disease!"
Remember when the No Collars won the chickens, and they took the chicken that was going to become Will’s birthday meal and gave it a little stroking and attention? That is as strong a metaphor as Survivor can give – Will was the chicken being given a short good time, before being taken to the machete at Tribal Council.
So Will has a second life now – a spare vote that is useful to Jenn and Hali in maintaining control of the tribe and an opportunity to make new alliances with people he has more in common with, like Kelly and Carolyn.
A challenge where blindfolded contestants have to drop a heavy wooden platform – - what could go wrong? After staying in the challenge while bleeding from the face, Probst should really be having one of his too-rare woman-crushes. Oh well, at least with the tribe switch Kelly doesn’t have to wear her blood-soaked buff any more.
Kelly’s interviews, where she relates her skills as an undercover cop to Survivor, are quickly becoming one of the highlights of the season. Thirty seasons into the show and I’m still learning new things about the game, like how joining a new tribe is like buying drugs from someone you don’t know.
Anyway, Kelly was brought in on the vote against Max at the last minute, and just went along because the others have the numbers. Not being part of the core group, she had better hope that the tribe follows the precedent of “vote out the most annoying.”
I know we armchair-Survivors frequently admonish actual players of the game for not having trained in advance on how to start a fire, but Shirin has taken things to a new, uncomfortable level by researching on YouTube how to kill a chicken, and slaughtering a rabbit! Everyone is worried about alienating her, which is a pretty strong hint that they want to ditch her at the first opportunity. Also, she accused Probst of looking at her like she was delusional. That’s your first hint, Shirin.
There are the power rankings for the week. Tune in tonight to see if Joaquin and Rodney actually kiss, and then come back tomorrow for Jim’s graphic recap of the kiss, assuming there is one.