This Weekend, Watch This
A comparison for the new releases for October 24-26, 2014
By Curt David
October 24, 2014
BoxOfficeProphets.com

We, uh, swear we're not summoning the devil. Or Mephistopholes.
New movies are released into theaters every weekend. How do you decide which movie to watch? Some movies sound awesome (Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters), but then do not do too well commercially. Other movies star your celebrity crush (Cate Blanchett in The Monuments Men), but then do not get much love critically. Still other movies are recommended by friends (but friends can be idiots). And if you are like 71%* of people, you are not even aware of which movies are being released, yet alone which movies you should pay your hard earned money on.

I’ll save you the hassle of researching every movie by comparing the new releases for each weekend in this column. Then I’ll tell you which movie you should watch in the theaters.

For the weekend of October 24th, the new movies in wide release are John Wick and Ouija.



John Wick OuijaWINNER
(1 point per category)
Clearest TitleSounds like a guy’s name that fights people.Sounds like a horror movie.I’ve heard the word Ouija before. Point.
Best Genre
and Rating		Action/Thriller
Rated R for strong and bloody violence throughout, language and brief drug use		Horror
Rated PG-13 for disturbing violent content, frightening horror images, and thematic material 		Nice mix of genres- 1/2 point each.
Best Plot
(in haiku form)		Guy can kill people
People mess with him. Uh-oh.
He un-retires. 		An Ouija board
Friends play it. Spirits come back.
Lots of spooks and scares. 		I’ve seen 10 movies with each of those plots. 1/2 point each.
Best TrailerPROS: Maybe it's because Keanu Reeve is in it, but it looks great, and the unrealistic action parts look awesome, too.
CONS: Every month there’s a movie with this plot. 		PROS: It’s a PG-13 horror movie near Halloween.
CONS: It may not be scary and the plot may be basic.		John Wick had a better trailer. Point.
Coolest Lead ActorKeanu Reeves from The Matrix.I don’t recognize anyone yet. My boy Keanu wins this point.
Best CastWillem Dafoe (Spider-Man), Adrianne Palicki (Friday Night Lights), and John Leguizamo (Moulin Rouge)I don’t recognize anyone yet. John Wick’s cast wins this point.
Best Street Cred
For the Production		Co-directors David Leitch and Chad Stahelski have done the stunts for every impressive movie of the past 20 years. Writer and director Stiles White also did special effects for a ton of popular movies. They are starting to build their street cred. 1/2 point each.


So out of a maximum of 7 points per movie, John Wick scores 4 and 1/2 points and Ouija scores 2 and 1/2 points (and a gold star).

You may interpret this column for your own movie preferences. For example, if you want to watch a horror movie near Halloween, feel free to watch Ouija. However, if you are still on the fence, please read the following conclusions from the scientific data gathered in this column.

Conclusion 1: On paper, John Wick is the best movie to watch this weekend.
Conclusion 2: Each week I give a gold star to the movie with the best tagline. This week was tough, but John Wick’s “Don’t set him off” will lose to Ouija’s “Keep telling yourself it’s just a game.”
Conclusion 3: Four weeks until the next Hunger Games movie!

*Statistic is completely made up.